Frugivory Gifts

Be afraid. Be very afraid.

"We were able to retire 6 years early by canceling cable & eliminating anything fun."

Always empty your fridge before starting a diet.

Advocado

Thrift: have your arms and legs amputated, use a pillow for a bed!

'If by 'great', you mean 'terrible', then yes, we have plenty of great beers for under $4.00 a six-pack.'

"Ten Dollars?! I can't eat that." Bob was on a strict low-cost diet.

Thrift: New way to eat eggs (avoid needless transport costs).

'That's what I thought, finances are tight: She's switched to no-name cat food...'

"Grass...Grass and more damn grass... What I wouldn't give for a lightly poached Dover sole with a garlic infused tarragon sauce."

"In the current market, it's just more practical."

'It's cheaper than gas.'

'I'm here to fix your robotic milker.'

"I used to be a vegetarian. Then I became a vegan. Then a fruitarian. Now I only eat manna that falls from Heaven."

"One silo is for grain, the other is for the money we save on gas."

'Thank you waiter - my wife's the rabbit.'

Runner Bean...

What's the insect de jour?

Doris was determined to save money on cat parlour fees!

'How much did you save this year?'

'The sick economy isn't why J.B.has cut back on spending. He always was a tightwad.'

Welcome all to the monthly gathering of Tightwads United. Hi there. Hello. Hey. On tonight's agenda: Dumpster diving, coupon clipping, and a special lecture. How to carpool while always getting the other person to drive. I'm like a god. Woohoo!! Yeah!!! Clap clap clap clap clap clap clap. Tightwads United.

'Radford, go in for Bloom. ... Uh-uh-uh! Finish your vegetables first!'

Tree's Tree Nursery. Get this. Dad is selling those goofy upside-down tomato planters. What idiot would buy them? Thanks! I'll let you know how it works! My idiotic bio teacher.

"Jersey Tomatoes" vs. "Jersey toMAHtoes"

"I think we can take you off the cabbage diet now"

"Years of penny-pinching really paid off. The price of copper just went up again."

'Less spare change under the cushion is my leading economic indicator!'

'It took a six hour operation to remove this fiver from your fist.'

"I always say; 'You don't need to spend a lot of money to have a good time on a first date."

"He can afford a bigger cage. His old tax forms line the bottom."

Martin hated dining alone – but loved the savings.

"In my previous life I was arugula."

"That's too big a pill for me to swallow, Harold!"

"Is that neat whisky?"