Fridge Forager Gifts

'Today's St. Patrick's day. It'll be a good time to eat up this stuff with the green mold on it.'

'Don't think its a coincidence that the chocolate is in the back and the fruits are in the front.'

"Like you, mom, I never waste leftover. Want some pizza slice, meatloaf hunk, chicken salad soup?"

He assumed cottage cheese would be safe, but this would be the last time Michael wouldn't check the label for entire fat content.

Always empty your fridge before starting a diet.

Dieter sees 'Enter at own risk' sign on refrigerator

'You remember earlier when kevin said there was nothing to eat.'

Fridge with sign - 'Contents may not be suitable for those with weight problems'.

"I think the milk's off!"

"I can always find the olives. It's the only jar that looks back at me!"

The discovery of asparagus.

"I read somewhere that truffles are a gateway fungus."

"Dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, onion bagel with Nutella and cream cheese, dirt, dirt, dirt..."

'The vegetables sat in the crisper for hours...days...a whole week. Then suddenly, the drawer opened. A hand reached in, grabbed the kale, and all you could hear was the sound of...A Garbage disposal.'

'I've no time for these foragers - they come into the area and snap up all the best houses...'

Baby squirrel & Berries

An experimentalist alarms his guests by describing the appearance of the mushrooms in a dish they have just eaten.

"Never mind the porridge, someone's stolen my woodland mushroom collection."

"I'm going in."

" 'Unlimited salad bar' sounded better on the menu."

'Thank you for noticing, Shirley - but beauty comes at a price, It hampers my hunting, limits my berry picking and typing's a real pain,'

"You know, turning a hobby into a job kinda takes all the fun out of it."

It's kind of a cross between hunting and gathering --- I calling it "taxing."

"You might call it shoplifting officer, but I prefer to think of it as foraging."

Black Truffles!

The mushroom pickers

A windfall pear falling straight into a bag of windfall pears.

"I love the way next door never tidy their garden - it's the perfect source of blackberries for our apple crumble."

'Never go berry pickin' on an empty stomach.'

'Hank, I know you're new at turkey hunting, but that isn't the way you call turkeys.'

'I'd always been told they found the truffles by smell.'

'...And when it registers over 140 pounds, it automatically triggers the refrigerator lock.'

It's a big ask.

"I was going to go to the other slop trough, but the music's always too loud."

"Don't be late - I'm making moldy meat and orange peels over coffee grinds with a side of egg shells."