Frugality Fiend Gifts

So I'm "cheap." It's a perfectly good word. And it aptly describes my interest in conserving resources. I suppose we could call you "thrifty." Heavens no! And waste two whole letters? I see we've only wasted one whole tea bag.

'What do you do with the time you save?'

"We were able to retire 6 years early by canceling cable & eliminating anything fun."

Thrift: have your arms and legs amputated, use a pillow for a bed!

My 5-year-old nephew cut his hair! His mom was so upset until she thought: 'Wait a minute! I just saved 12 bucks!'

When Tia Carmen says... "I got it for a very good price!" it means...she stopped at a garage sale on the way home.

Clancy Strip: Money and Beer

'The sick economy isn't why J.B.has cut back on spending. He always was a tightwad.'

'Dave will only turn the heating on when he thinks it's absolutely necessary.'

Welcome all to the monthly gathering of Tightwads United. Hi there. Hello. Hey. On tonight's agenda: Dumpster diving, coupon clipping, and a special lecture. How to carpool while always getting the other person to drive. I'm like a god. Woohoo!! Yeah!!! Clap clap clap clap clap clap clap. Tightwads United.

'Withdrawal symptoms.'

"Years of penny-pinching really paid off. The price of copper just went up again."

"What do you mean 'upgrade' the server? The old one works just fine."

'Wait a minute....!

"I always say; 'You don't need to spend a lot of money to have a good time on a first date."

"Okay, what's your next, more expensive security system?"

Pandora's box.

"That's too big a pill for me to swallow, Harold!"

"He can afford a bigger cage. His old tax forms line the bottom."

Kicking The Habit

'Gentlemen, it's time we tightened our belts.'

"Do you have a dollar menu?"

How to do without

'Yes, Bob, Allan's wife did let him buy tickets to the big game, but then Allan didn't spend all his allowance on nachos and beer, now, did he?'

'You must know my kids...they spend like there's no tomorrow.'

"Do you have this in an $11.99?"

'Generally, cost-cutting is a good thing. Specifically, too much of a good thing.'

"Well, I think we've proved our point...you want to push it, or should I?"

'Whadaya mean my fixed income is broken?'

"Armstrong, you're the cheapest cheapskate on earth." "Not yet, but a man can dream." "This toothache is killing me but I have no money and no insurance. Do you know where I can find a really cheap dentist?" "Of course. I can give you my guy's name. He works for peanuts." "I’ll get a pen." "You’ll also need a passport and lots of penicillin."

Today, it's chic to be cheap.

"I wanted to give Christmas bonuses but that would violate the separation of church and business."

'Remember, Henderson - A penny saved is a departmental oversight.'

"He was right about saving that box. It did come in handy."

'Good news. We just made $21,450 online trading. Now we're only behind $347,364.'