Frugalista Gifts

"Why Pay More?"

Travel back with me to see the damage your extreme frugality was wrought. I'll loan you lunch money at 15 percent. What's percent? Oh dear. There's still time to change. You're right. That desperate kid would've paid at least 20 percent.

"Sorry, no raise again but would you like to register for our free seminar 'Living Well on a Shoestring'?"

"Instead of putting your phone on vibrate and taping your toothbursh to it, just go buy an electric toothbrush."

"Fifty grand in hair products, Rapunzel? You're killing me!"

'It's rather unorthodox, but it appears the deposit refund on the empties will cover your first interest payment.'

'What do you do with the time you save?'

"It was terrifying experience being faced with that kind of compulsive, insane behaviour...I tell you it's positively the last time I put foot in the sales!"

"We were able to retire 6 years early by canceling cable & eliminating anything fun."

Thrift: New way to eat eggs (avoid needless transport costs).

'That's what I thought, finances are tight: She's switched to no-name cat food...'

"Ten Dollars?! I can't eat that." Bob was on a strict low-cost diet.

Thrift: have your arms and legs amputated, use a pillow for a bed!

'If by 'great', you mean 'terrible', then yes, we have plenty of great beers for under $4.00 a six-pack.'

'We are entering an era of thrift, so in place of champagne and canapes, there will be a jumble sale.'

"In the current market, it's just more practical."

My 5-year-old nephew cut his hair! His mom was so upset until she thought: 'Wait a minute! I just saved 12 bucks!'

'It's cheaper than gas.'

"The only thing that's not gone up is the pound."

"I'm on a tight budget. Make it look like I cut at myself."

'We don't know what it is but it was in the sale so we thought we'd better get one before they sold out.'

Clancy Strip: Money and Beer

Fries and kids

'It makes conferences so much cheaper, no travel costs and we only need to buy our own drinks!'

'I decided to start buying food in bulk. I hope you're hungry!'

'I received your list of the type of company car you'd like to receive. The Maserati, Ferrari, Porche and Viper isn't possible, but there is a 1978 Pinto with your name written all over it.'

'Phone for help? Are you mad? Have you any idea how much it costs to use a mobile abroad?'

"I'm learning to appreciate the simple things in life."

"Okay then, what wine do you have if we go up to the four dollar range?"

Welcome all to the monthly gathering of Tightwads United. Hi there. Hello. Hey. On tonight's agenda: Dumpster diving, coupon clipping, and a special lecture. How to carpool while always getting the other person to drive. I'm like a god. Woohoo!! Yeah!!! Clap clap clap clap clap clap clap. Tightwads United.

'How much did you save this year?'

Doris was determined to save money on cat parlour fees!

"To keep warm in winter you're looking at a new central heating system costing £20,000."

"I can't believe I'm paying $5,000 a month for you to stream Intro to Psychology when I get all of TV for $15.99."

Take pity on me. I can't give much this year. What is this heresy, son? I didn't get a raise this year, got furloughed this summer, am behind on my cable bill, can't afford proper dates. But it's the holidays. Think of the needy. Pierre in flat-panels has a new baby. Sandy, the mobile device manager, toils so hard for your business. And don't forget Apple. It's got to make its quarter. Computer Villa. Customer service. I shouldn't just think of myself. That's better. I'd like to upgrade all my d