Frugal Fancy Drinker Pillows

"The great is $54.99, and I do have a near-great for $23.99."

'What do you do with the time you save?'

When Tia Carmen says... "I got it for a very good price!" it means...she stopped at a garage sale on the way home.

My 5-year-old nephew cut his hair! His mom was so upset until she thought: 'Wait a minute! I just saved 12 bucks!'

Clancy Strip: Money and Beer

'Dave will only turn the heating on when he thinks it's absolutely necessary.'

'Withdrawal symptoms.'

"I love blue Martinis. It's like the fifties and the nineties all mixed up together."

"I always say; 'You don't need to spend a lot of money to have a good time on a first date."

"Why pay for a tree in November when you can get one off the side of the road in January for free?"

"Is that neat whisky?"

'I could only afford a Yo.'

Prosecco Drinker

'Yes, Bob, Allan's wife did let him buy tickets to the big game, but then Allan didn't spend all his allowance on nachos and beer, now, did he?'

How to do without

"There's no getting away from the numbers....only by forgetting holidays, giving up drink, the cinema, meals out and socialising...will we be able to afford any quality of life when we retire."

"He's given up trying to find anything else he can cut to reach 40% savings."

"Why can't you just buy some modern LED lights?"

'You must know my kids...they spend like there's no tomorrow.'

"Do you have this in an $11.99?"

'To save money, Bob started making his own wine. This Chablis, for example, only cost him $329 a bottle.'

'He arranged it himself. Let's face it he really was the skinflint's skinflint...'

"Armstrong, you're the cheapest cheapskate on earth." "Not yet, but a man can dream." "This toothache is killing me but I have no money and no insurance. Do you know where I can find a really cheap dentist?" "Of course. I can give you my guy's name. He works for peanuts." "I’ll get a pen." "You’ll also need a passport and lots of penicillin."

"I wanted to give Christmas bonuses but that would violate the separation of church and business."

'We've all had to cut costs a smidge.'

'Right now I'd say our biggest asset is our credit card debt.'

"Murder, eh? They nabbed me for bargain-hunting without a license."

Dad she's fallen into the cereal again!

'Why can't you guys be more like the hot water heater, who may pay for itself in two years.'

'Watch this - I told him the correct pronunciation of Pinot Noir is peanut noyer.'

"Could I have a bottle of the Chateau Lafitte '67 but filled with the wine from Tesco 2019."