Frosty Fixer Gifts

'I use these ice cubes to make minor home repairs.'

Snowprov

A child stands behind a stand piled high with snowballs and a sign that reads "Hand-crafted snowballs 25¢".

Christmas tree with wadded up lights.

'Before you come with me, tell me...does this robe look a little rumpled to you? I don't think the dry cleaners got the creases out, do you?'

Ice skater

"No, Doris, not implants!"

Unable to afford scaffolding, Dave ties plungers on his feet to get up a wall.

"Whoa. There's a huge crack down here." "Tell me about it."

Snowman and stickmen losing arms

Home Business - Printer Ink.

"Now just open wide and relax. Uncle Fred has told me he has a way to fix your braces faster and cheaper than that overpriced orthodontist."

Son? We need to talk about inappropriate life choices. I was joking. I'm not going to be an investment banker. Great! I'd hate to see you waste your talents. There are plenty of other jobs. Like the fixer who disappears famous athletes' awkward e-mails. You'll always be employed.

Ski Lift Glove Fishing

"Kick the machine"

'Mrs Fenton, next time we have a neurotic snowman booked, get the payment up-front!'

Melted But Not Forgotten

"Dad, I'll assemble yours if you assemble mine."

A man ice fishing through a hole in the ice opened using a soda can pull tab.

'Are you crazy? How are you going to run in the snow?'

'They can be a real menace at this time of year.'

Skiing

'Freezer is on the blink.'

Witch's Snowman.

"Tell Santa that Rudolph's check engine light is on."

"That's really great , but what do you do if you want to remove the nail?"

Cardiology

'When you're done fixing the furnace, could you gather up these Demons From Hell that escaped?'

'It's our last resort.'

Hospital. Emergency. Closed. I'm bleeding and the E.R. is closed, What should I do? Just go home? Suture self!

Ice Skater

'I guess it's official now. No one in this town actually makes anything anymore.'

Boss, someone called The Fixer is here to see you. Excellent. Go out and tell him I want him to teach you everything he knows. I don't see why I should have to keep paying him when I've got my very own minion. Pay extra attention to the issue vague threats to shut down lawsuits part. If he asks why I didn't fire him myself, you tell him I've moved to Botswana. Very bad man.

"Did you call someone to come test for margarine residue in the refrigerator?"

The Arrival of Winter.