Frizz Fixers Pillows

'I can't do a thing with it either!'

"Yeah, but that one's a little bit hard to reach."

'Before you come with me, tell me...does this robe look a little rumpled to you? I don't think the dry cleaners got the creases out, do you?'

Waiting for Pants

'Incredibly Inexpensive Sound Engineers. Pretty Good Sound Engineers, 12 the price, 23 the quality. You'll hardly notice the occasional feedback.'

'Still workin' on the beard, Jerry?'

'I use these ice cubes to make minor home repairs.'

The Anti-flat shampoo worked.

You May Bang Your Head Here/You May Talk To Here.

'Of course we can fix your sweater but we'll have to contact the sheep to match the wool!'

System failure - calling for sysadmin...

Misread tsp as tbsp.

'George, I can't sleep with a window shade flapping! Get up and fix it!'

'Bob will be with you in a moment. He's cleaning the filter to the wine-aroma-judging-device attached to his face.'

It's too hard to clean my closet. Take out everything. Throw them into "keep", "donate" or "toss" boxes. Ok. Done!

Son? We need to talk about inappropriate life choices. I was joking. I'm not going to be an investment banker. Great! I'd hate to see you waste your talents. There are plenty of other jobs. Like the fixer who disappears famous athletes' awkward e-mails. You'll always be employed.

"They call you Abominable and me a monster, and they don't even know us."

Cyber disease.

"As soon as the leaves turn, my hair goes crazy."

"Kick the machine"

Will sneak through the woods and throw your ball back into the fairway.

"Sorry, but road rage is next door. This room is for people who get frustrated with their compute and take it out on their keyboards."

'Look, Doctor. I just want him cured. I'm not interested in what's wrong with him, so skip the lab work."

Honey, I'm stuck in another pot-hole!

'Maybe you could get dressed faster if you lost that speed bump around your waist.'

"Darling - I can't seem to find the invisible menders..."

"We'll get that infected tear duct fixed up in no time."

'I guess it's official now. No one in this town actually makes anything anymore.'

Boss, someone called The Fixer is here to see you. Excellent. Go out and tell him I want him to teach you everything he knows. I don't see why I should have to keep paying him when I've got my very own minion. Pay extra attention to the issue vague threats to shut down lawsuits part. If he asks why I didn't fire him myself, you tell him I've moved to Botswana. Very bad man.

Tailor Shop. Repairs. Alterations. You're a tailor who fixes torn pants?! When we met in the bar you said you were a genetic engineer! No, I said I do "jean splicing"!

"Did you call someone to come test for margarine residue in the refrigerator?"

"Bob, Bob, he's about to open the flyscreen door! It's our chance to get out of this place!"

"This anti-frizz serum, do you do it in a smaller size?"

Stitches.

Well, perhaps some extra strength hair conditioner would help.