Fritter Enthusiast T-Shirts

'Don't be tempted, Mrs. Gruber, just mail those apple fritters right here to me!'

"All the butter was gone. There was no way out. The puff pastry had to be made with margarine... from a tub."

Peter Pan, the Utensil that Never Grew Up

"Two burgers, two fries, two martinis—and we'll have those to go."

"I'd rather eat your homework."

6,000 BC: Neolithic Barbecue

"Incredible! Once again, you've made the perfect piece of toast."

'Leave my biscuit in my in-tray. I'll deal with it in the morning.'

Diets: Sweets and Biscuits.

You give me butterflies

"Honey, I’ll take over. The stir-fry has suffered long enough."

"The toaster is broken again, sweetheart."

A day at the FULL CIRCLE RANCH

"The toaster your brother gave us is beginning to get on my nerves."

"Oh I don't mind the jogging, but I think you tricked me. When you asked if I wanted to exercise, I thought you said, extra fries!"

'So why do you need a ladder to eat a pancake'

Toast kidnapper.

"And that's when I realized that I much preferred making frothy desserts."

'...tail of cat..tongue of toad and a good pinch of monosodium glutamate...'

Biscuit Factory: Broken Biscuits/Biscuit Counselling Service

What if he could be 'churned' to the dark side?

"What would you serve with toast?"

Toast with faces popped up from toaster.

'The price or the biscuits?'

'Of course, the self-cleaning models tend to cost a little more.'

"Then there was the dream where I woke up in a pool of melted butter."

"Nothing says butter - like something from the udder."

'At last conclusive proof sods law works - but only with a thick-sliced family loaf.'

A little fizz?

The final all-toast supper at apartment 5-B

"Could I have the fires al dente?"

Cattle Grid Toast