Friendship Gathering Gifts

"Tonight I'm getting together with pals to sit around and croak."

"I invited a few friends over who think you should see a psychiatrist."

"Oh, no - Karen baked a cake so dense that not even light can escape."

Can I give you a slice of the action?

"Is there any way I can un-drink this wine?"

Illustration from an Unpublished Novel

Every time you make a blend, somewhere, a wine maker dies.

The prying mantis,

"I think I'm having pre-traumatic stress disorder."

The devil you know and his plus one

"I see you're back from church. What was cherry-picked for you today?"

"Pssst! I had some CGI done."

"I know my drinking limits.The problem is that I can never reach them - I simply fall down."

Miniature Cattle Fanciers

'Sure, I'm a working mother - is there any other kind?'

'The Ambassador will not be pleased, Madame.'

I've been looking forward to this the whole year: It can get lonely out there...

If you want to see love be love.

"Hey guys - wrote a new song! It's called 'I suggested Paris.' And a' one, two three..."

Convention for People Who Like to Attend Conventions.

Glyndebourne

"You're doing fine - don't watch your feet."

Playing cards.

'I don't think we're devoted to the Lord. I think we're devoted to dessert.'

"That sister of yours sure has some nerve asking for those leftovers - we earned them."

"There! Isn't sipping my Tropical Surprise more fun than arguing over some ancient sports trivia?"

"Once you get over the three hundred and sixty eight texts it took to plan this, it really is nice to get together."

"God help us, it's that guy."

Cosy night in

Shall I be mother?

"I rushed here from surgery. I didn't have time to get into costume."

'I'm sorry, he likes to let off wind after dinner.'

"I've been invited to two different thanksgivings...One with family, one with friends, which one do I go to?"