Friends Gathering Gifts

'It's getting better. Two more glasses and it'll be a masterpiece.'

'Of course you can't sit there, there's no room, can't you see that... some people!'

"There! Isn't sipping my Tropical Surprise more fun than arguing over some ancient sports trivia?"

"Are you insane?!" The Velveteen Skunk

If you bathe a skunk in tomato juice, it will smell like a dog. A bird in the hand is better than two in your shorts. Never wear aqua after Thanksgiving. Unconventional wisdom.

"They must be grown-up ducks, because they're eating the crusts too."

'Ahhh...'

Uncle demonstrating chemical experiments to children

"I invited a few friends over who think you should see a psychiatrist."

T"ruly, Susan, I envy no man."

"Oh, no - Karen baked a cake so dense that not even light can escape."

Christmas Tree

"Thanks to my wedding planner, everyone in the wedding is still talking to each other."

"Hi-yah!"

#Thanksgiving #Nofilter

"I'm afraid the challah got a little burnt this week."

Wedding Day Itinerary.

Duke of Clarence (Later William IV) Promenading with Family

"What makes you think I'm dripping it on my shirt?"

"I'm not eating cookies before dinner. I'm having cookies for dinner!"

"Can I have another sausage Dad?"

Can I give you a slice of the action?

"See this jelly wobbling. It was waving goodbye."

"Is there any way I can un-drink this wine?"

The prying mantis,

"Mommy's going to teach you how to make a hamburger."

"I ask that today is a good day...a day that brings family together...to show how we need one another."

'No. The television screen hasn't gone red - You've got tomato ketchup all over your glasses!'

'Thank goodness you were wrong mom, dad says a period is what comes at the end of a sentence.'

The devil you know and his plus one

"Whose turn is it to lick the knife?"

Barbecued dessert, anyone? The coals are PERFECT now!

"I think I'm having pre-traumatic stress disorder."

"Mom, does the Russian borscht you made for dinner give me foreign-policy experience?"

"I say it's Kale, and I say it's spinaches shitfaced uncle."