Friendship Analyst Gifts

Two-Facedbook.

"Of course if you miss a payment the friendship ceases."

'I'm out of the loop!'

"I wouldn’t go so far as to call Darren here an ‘imaginary friend’—he’s more of an imaginary acquaintance."

'It is time. Let us begin the painstaking process of building our cocoons.'

'I'm his support system.'

'My wife ran off with my best friend...I really miss him.'

'Connie told Sharon that Beth said you're 2-faced, Joy.'

"Check it out! In nature, females are in charge...they select their mates!"

"I'm more of a 'How Jen stays thin' person than a 'Why Jen won't let Brad alone' person."

"And there was I thinking you'd been Beta tested."

"Even though I wasn't always perfect, I feel deep down that I am now."

"I may be obsessive and I may be compulsive, but no way am I obsessive compulsive."

"Men can keep a secret, but it takes a woman to tell them that it was supposed to be a secret!"

Awkward First Dates

'At last, the newly discovered films of Woody Alien.'

I asked my girlfriend if there was someone else...

Relationships.

Sharing the Bed with Zeno

"I'll probably die an old woman before I get that bedtime story."

"It's nothing, go back to sleep. I was just getting a DNA sample."

"I'm ready to go whenever you're through fussing with tablescapes."

"I've had you appraised."

"Oh darling! I just got your wonderful value added proposition! Of course I'll marry you!"

"I used to know my wife's fondest dreams and desires, but now I leave that to Google."

"I don't love you anymore, Barry, but I still think you're a great American."

"Remember that lovely couple of scarlet macaws we met in Puerto Jiménez? They split up!"

"I'll give you my unconditional love - on one condition."

"I miss the way it was when I thought you knew everything."

"She's got money and he's a 'poet'."

"I decided to treat my employees like friends...now I hate all of them!"

"These feelings of yours aren't unusual - in fact, several of them have Web sites."

'And that, in a nutshell, is why men don't understand women.'

"I need a more interactive you."

"You can't let the tick birds continue to define you."