Friends Of Satire Gifts

' . . . but have you had a nice time?'

Hollywood Sign Developers

Life is for the birds.

"Would you say that the sales projections in your 3 year plan are realistic?"

Vote Centrist to Keep Things Exactly as Awful as They Are

"Just give me your wallet. Trust me, you do not want to deal with my misplaced sense of entitlement."

Cord cutter

'Due to government surveillance, is my allowance taxable?'

"...No it does state here quite clearly...the right to bear arms...not arm bears."

Dickens & Tolstoy Walk into a Bar: " . . . so, to make a short story long . . . "

"She's a miniature."

Government Offices / In tray, No Exit tray.

Standard & Poor

"Very Presidential."

"It's either the Ten Commandments or the Mueller Report."

Centaur for Disease Control Says Wear a Mask

"It's trickle down."

Jack in the box on strike.

In my day, they didn

"We're to stop talking about 'budget cuts'. Apparently it's depressing for staff and clients..."

'I'm afraid we can't deliver your baby until your CRB check comes through.'

"I prefer 'prostitute'. 'Media whore' implies that I'm not getting paid."

Split Decision

Hudibras - 2 - The manner how he sallies forth.

Ursula von der Leyen Surrounded By Donald Trump Heads on Island

Another Filibuster from the Secretary of the Interior of My Car

"Absolutely, Senator, in my mind it was always my country first, and obscene profits second."

"Neversource"

Athens Playhouse. Euclid is rehearsing a play he wrote about lust, money and lies. Investment Sales Office. Don't be obtuse! Face each other from this angle! He's a tough director. It's surprising that Euclid, the father of geometry, wrote about passion, money and deceit. I thought so too, until I read the script. It's a story about a pyramid scheme and a love triangle!

"And, for insurance purposes, you must buy insurance."

'My diagnostic software is acting up. It says you are pregnant.'

'Call Me Old-Fashioned, But I Liked It Better When They Didn't Shave Their Armpits.'

'Welcome! Highly placed, unidentified administration spokespersons convention.'

Where the framers of the Constitution bought their frames.

'So what if few limp-wristed girlie men think we're too extreme!'