Friends Of Satire Gifts

' . . . but have you had a nice time?'

Life is for the birds.

"Would you say that the sales projections in your 3 year plan are realistic?"

"Just give me your wallet. Trust me, you do not want to deal with my misplaced sense of entitlement."

Cord cutter

Dickens & Tolstoy Walk into a Bar: " . . . so, to make a short story long . . . "

"...No it does state here quite clearly...the right to bear arms...not arm bears."

'Due to government surveillance, is my allowance taxable?'

"She's a miniature."

Government Offices / In tray, No Exit tray.

"Very Presidential."

Centaur for Disease Control Says Wear a Mask

"It's either the Ten Commandments or the Mueller Report."

"It's trickle down."

Standard & Poor

Jack in the box on strike.

"We're to stop talking about 'budget cuts'. Apparently it's depressing for staff and clients..."

"I prefer 'prostitute'. 'Media whore' implies that I'm not getting paid."

"Absolutely, Senator, in my mind it was always my country first, and obscene profits second."

'I'm afraid we can't deliver your baby until your CRB check comes through.'

"Neversource"

Another Filibuster from the Secretary of the Interior of My Car

Hudibras - 2 - The manner how he sallies forth.

Ursula von der Leyen Surrounded By Donald Trump Heads on Island

"And, for insurance purposes, you must buy insurance."

'My diagnostic software is acting up. It says you are pregnant.'

'Call Me Old-Fashioned, But I Liked It Better When They Didn't Shave Their Armpits.'

'Welcome! Highly placed, unidentified administration spokespersons convention.'

Where the framers of the Constitution bought their frames.

'Are you free at the moment?'

'Why would a just God allow so many teenage vampire movies?'