Friends Facing Mid-life Gifts

The Woodstock Medical-Emergency Tent - 1994

Albert & Myra - The End Story

"Happy birthday, dear. You still have that sparkle in your eyes!" "That sparkle burned out years ago. These are cataracts."

"I'm here for the hair."

Middle Age: When you finally get your head together, and your body starts to fall apart!

"Good news, honey - seventy is the new fifty."

"Sitting on a beanbag doesn't take me back to the seventies- it just makes me wonder how I'm ever going to get up again."

"We missed Fashion Week!"

"From Zero To Sixty In What Seems Like Eight Seconds Flat."

"The nest may be empty, but our drinks are full."

"Just when I’ve reconciled the fact that I’m in my 40s, my 50th birthday shows up."

"My once perky chicken breasts hang like flapjacks, I don't lay eggs anymore, I'm burning up with hot flashes, I'm...."

"I see myself rising through the ranks of the organization until midlife, when I will most likely hit a wall and go screaming through the door."

'Yeah, I hate change, too.'

"Still getting those hot flashes, Margaret?"

Middle age anxiety about leaving the house.

A Classicist Considers Taking Up The Mambo

When Seniors Fly

"Let's face it, Michele. We're not getting any older."

"I remember when you used to whisper sweet nothings in my ear."

Strange Aftertaste birthday cards.

Cashflow - The milkman is here.

'Someone told him life begins at forty. Now he's reserving his energies!'

'In denial and loving it!'

Men-O-Pause Emergency Kit, contents include an inflatable trophy wife, bottle of Boca-Raw-Tan and a convincing hairpiece

"I have heard the mermaids singing, each to each. I told them to pipe down."

"Tell me this is just your mid-life crisis."

De Luxe Model - Cupholders.

"The combover works even less now that you're using your back hair."

'How come they're making size 16 smaller these days?'

A middle aged cow.

Same Sexless Marriage

"I'm having these weird dreams about medical professionals delivering babies. . ."