Friend Who Loves Social Media Pillows

Updating my facebook profile

"The leadership team wants a catchy acronym for a new social media app they're calling Functional Applied Relationship Tracker. Any suggestions?"

"Her first word was 'paparazzi'. "

21st century water cooler conversations.

'Someplace where we could take lots of selfies with national monuments...'

"Oooh... Look, honey. Scarlet macaws! You know, they mate for life." "That's what you think."

'Alas, poor Yorick, I knew you well. But dude, you're creeping me out, so I gotta un-friend you!'

"I got 30 likes but Mom's was not one of them."

'Being the boss's yes-man used to be easier. Now you also have to 'like' him on facebook, follow him on Twitter, link with him on linked-in...'

"Are we going for suntan, personal development or being the envy of our friends on Instagram?"

'I guess mother and baby are doing fine. She's already sending out selfies.'

Giving birth with your husband present may be more painful.

"Could you please focus on the objective of this meeting, Tom... you can get back to your 300 followers later."

"Waiter, can you heat this up? The wild salmon got cold while I was posting it to Instagram."

"You really ought to cut down on your scream time."

"I always check twitter before work, to see if yesterday's joke got me the sack."

Digital Fomo!

"Before I do this, I would ask everyone to please delete the footage in the event of this not going as planned."

"What does it mean? Heck, I don't know! It's mystifying!"

'There's no art to the mind's construction on Facebook, Macbeth.'

Updated Classis: Alice Through the You Tube.

I put a picture of my lunch on Facebook, and nobody hit "like." Who doesn't like Slim Jims and beer?

Obsession with the Internet.

"I forgot to take a pic of the tacos."

"And to my nephew, Todd, I leave my 27 Twitter followers."

"The video of you eating my $700 John Varvatos got 300 'likes.'"

"Where have you been? This content's not going to create itself."

Ice shelfie.

Addicted to Facebook...lost internet connection.

Trick or Tweet

I just hope my doctor is not on twitter too!

"Well, the alternative would be to use your social media accounts to promote toothlessness."

"I always send a layover selfie back home, to let everyone know I'm safe."

"What do you want to be when you blow up?"

How logos change over time.