Social Media Friend Pillows

'I've got 8350 followers but none of them is here to buy me the next drink!'

Lynching on social media

"My granddaughter's first words to me were 'OK, Boomer.' I have no idea what that even means."

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

"Her first word was 'paparazzi'. "

"Greetings, I'm the bluebird of dank memes."

"I groom all day and still look like a baboon."

"Just bring me something that's going to look good on social media."

"Let me just check my email, my texts, my missed calls, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp, my credit score, my horoscope, the results of this latest personality test, the S. & P., the Dow, the news, this article about cute dogs, and the weather, and then we can go."

21st century water cooler conversations.

"Couldn't you have just laughed instead of spelling 'LOL' in your alphabet soup?"

'Someplace where we could take lots of selfies with national monuments...'

"If this goes badly I'm going to post it on my youtube job interview bloopers channel."

"Jackie, why does your relationship status read ‘capitulated to’ me?!"

Moses on the web

"I don't post selfies because I don't want people to feel better or worse about their looks."

'Alas, poor Yorick, I knew you well. But dude, you're creeping me out, so I gotta un-friend you!'

"I got 30 likes but Mom's was not one of them."

Girl with smart phone enters door that says "Social Media Studies"

"Are we going for suntan, personal development or being the envy of our friends on Instagram?"

'I guess mother and baby are doing fine. She's already sending out selfies.'

#Thanksgiving #Nofilter

"Dear Wendy, please excuse the tardiness of my response to your recent tweet from Hoboken."

"#Win!"

"You know, there are other emojis."

Giving birth with your husband present may be more painful.

"They didn't want to be identified in my photo, so I blurred their butts."

A boy is sat at a desk, with five plaques implying different qualifications he has earned from using social media.

"Trust me Jesus, if you want to make a bigger impact work on being seeker friendly."

Likes: $2.

A is for App...B is for Blogger...C is for Celebrity.

"Always remember, sweetheart, that when the service is free, YOU'RE the product!"