Friend's Night T-Shirts

"I invited a few friends over who think you should see a psychiatrist."

"Oh, no - Karen baked a cake so dense that not even light can escape."

'I've tried all night without potting a ball.' - 'Try taking away the wooden frame.'

Can I give you a slice of the action?

"It's kind of sweet when they're all settled in like this."

Emotional Bling

I've decided to shift down a few gears.'

"Stranger, you're sitting in the boss's personal spot. That's why they moved the dart board over your head."

'I don't like Gerald as a person, but I like him as a concept.'

"If you don't stop saying 'This whole game is a charade!' we're going home."

'Would you say your glass is half empty or half full?' 'Whose round is it?'

"Hey guys - wrote a new song! It's called 'I suggested Paris.' And a' one, two three..."

"Pavlov's dog: Friday night"

'What did I SAY to DAVE?' - A person with hangover worrying about the night before.

Playing cards.

"Another double martini, please. My sense of balance and proportion couldn't make it tonight so I'm drinking for two."

"Let's see now - have we got everything?"

"I've been invited to two different thanksgivings...One with family, one with friends, which one do I go to?"

"My feet are cold."

"And what's the story behind the story?"

'For goodness sake, will we ever have a nice picnic without family and friends turning up uninvited?'

'It was a lot more congenial when we had happy hour.'

Thames Pizza

"It's not the heat that gets you it's the ants."

'Just as I suspected, guys - looks like we'be got ourselves an undercover wine drinker.'

The Greenwich dinner - a convivial moment

"Is it horny in here, or is it just me?"

"Templeton, its Friday, so be so good as to inform her ladyship that it's sex after bridge this evening"

For every dog who gets the window seat, there's Steve, the designated driver.

"Oh don't mind us, we are just having a small get together!"