Friend's Gathering T-Shirts

"I invited a few friends over who think you should see a psychiatrist."

Can I give you a slice of the action?

"I heard you had a little problem with the law."

"Are you insane?!" The Velveteen Skunk

"They must be grown-up ducks, because they're eating the crusts too."

'Ahhh...'

Uncle demonstrating chemical experiments to children

"Oh, no - Karen baked a cake so dense that not even light can escape."

T"ruly, Susan, I envy no man."

"Hi-yah!"

"I'm not eating cookies before dinner. I'm having cookies for dinner!"

"Can I have another sausage Dad?"

Duke of Clarence (Later William IV) Promenading with Family

"What makes you think I'm dripping it on my shirt?"

"Is there any way I can un-drink this wine?"

"Mommy's going to teach you how to make a hamburger."

"See this jelly wobbling. It was waving goodbye."

'Thank goodness you were wrong mom, dad says a period is what comes at the end of a sentence.'

"I think I'm having pre-traumatic stress disorder."

"I say it's Kale, and I say it's spinaches shitfaced uncle."

'No. The television screen hasn't gone red - You've got tomato ketchup all over your glasses!'

The devil you know and his plus one

The prying mantis,

Every time you make a blend, somewhere, a wine maker dies.

Illustration from an Unpublished Novel

"Whose turn is it to lick the knife?"

"Mom, does the Russian borscht you made for dinner give me foreign-policy experience?"

'Roy! For the last time, don't wave that red one in front of your Dad.'

'Never mind about buying that trampoline. I love your new bed!'

Miniature Cattle Fanciers

'Look, Dad, I made a pair of boots out of your chest waders.'

"Pssst! I had some CGI done."

"It may not look like it to you, but trust me, he's hyperactive. It's exhausting!"

"Tonight I'm getting together with pals to sit around and croak."

"Gracie, today I'm teaching you a Bermudez family tradition...passed down from generation to generation! Vamonos! Out! Now!"