Friend's Gathering T-Shirts

"I invited a few friends over who think you should see a psychiatrist."

Can I give you a slice of the action?

"I heard you had a little problem with the law."

"Are you insane?!" The Velveteen Skunk

"They must be grown-up ducks, because they're eating the crusts too."

'Ahhh...'

Uncle demonstrating chemical experiments to children

"Oh, no - Karen baked a cake so dense that not even light can escape."

T"ruly, Susan, I envy no man."

"Hi-yah!"

"I'm not eating cookies before dinner. I'm having cookies for dinner!"

"Can I have another sausage Dad?"

Duke of Clarence (Later William IV) Promenading with Family

"What makes you think I'm dripping it on my shirt?"

"Mommy's going to teach you how to make a hamburger."

"See this jelly wobbling. It was waving goodbye."

'Thank goodness you were wrong mom, dad says a period is what comes at the end of a sentence.'

"I say it's Kale, and I say it's spinaches shitfaced uncle."

Every time you make a blend, somewhere, a wine maker dies.

"Mom, does the Russian borscht you made for dinner give me foreign-policy experience?"

The prying mantis,

Illustration from an Unpublished Novel

'No. The television screen hasn't gone red - You've got tomato ketchup all over your glasses!'

"I think I'm having pre-traumatic stress disorder."

The devil you know and his plus one

"Whose turn is it to lick the knife?"

"Is there any way I can un-drink this wine?"

'Roy! For the last time, don't wave that red one in front of your Dad.'

'Never mind about buying that trampoline. I love your new bed!'

'Muriel's philosophy is that what happens in the kitchen, stays in the kitchen.'

Miniature Cattle Fanciers

"Gracie, today I'm teaching you a Bermudez family tradition...passed down from generation to generation! Vamonos! Out! Now!"

'Look, Dad, I made a pair of boots out of your chest waders.'

"Oh, Aunt Em, it wasn't a dream. It was a place. And you and you and you ... and you were there. But not that man with the straitjacket."

Chicken Little was correct about something falling, unfortunately, it was an axe, and not the sky.