Friendly Gatherings T-Shirts

"There are scones in the oven too, in case you're peckish."

"This place has the best happy hour."

"I invited a few friends over who think you should see a psychiatrist."

'I can't force jocose if I'm not feeling it.'

'But Mom, I like potatoes in their jackets.'

Can I give you a slice of the action?

"Is there any way I can un-drink this wine?"

Illustration from an Unpublished Novel

The devil you know and his plus one

Every time you make a blend, somewhere, a wine maker dies.

The prying mantis,

"I think I'm having pre-traumatic stress disorder."

"I see you're back from church. What was cherry-picked for you today?"

"It's kind of sweet when they're all settled in like this."

Miniature Cattle Fanciers

"You two seem oddly suited."

"Tonight I'm getting together with pals to sit around and croak."

"Pssst! I had some CGI done."

'Sure, I'm a working mother - is there any other kind?'

'The Ambassador will not be pleased, Madame.'

I've been looking forward to this the whole year: It can get lonely out there...

"Hey guys - wrote a new song! It's called 'I suggested Paris.' And a' one, two three..."

Convention for People Who Like to Attend Conventions.

Glyndebourne

'I don't think we're devoted to the Lord. I think we're devoted to dessert.'

"You're doing fine - don't watch your feet."

Playing cards.

Midwest Winter Items.

"There! Isn't sipping my Tropical Surprise more fun than arguing over some ancient sports trivia?"

"That sister of yours sure has some nerve asking for those leftovers - we earned them."

"God help us, it's that guy."

"I rushed here from surgery. I didn't have time to get into costume."

'I'm sorry, he likes to let off wind after dinner.'

"I've been invited to two different thanksgivings...One with family, one with friends, which one do I go to?"