Friendly Gathering T-Shirts

"Why is it every time we get together we end up squabbling?"

"Are you insane?!" The Velveteen Skunk

"This place has the best happy hour."

"They must be grown-up ducks, because they're eating the crusts too."

'Ahhh...'

Uncle demonstrating chemical experiments to children

"I invited a few friends over who think you should see a psychiatrist."

"Oh, no - Karen baked a cake so dense that not even light can escape."

T"ruly, Susan, I envy no man."

"Hi-yah!"

'But Mom, I like potatoes in their jackets.'

Duke of Clarence (Later William IV) Promenading with Family

"Can I have another sausage Dad?"

"What makes you think I'm dripping it on my shirt?"

Can I give you a slice of the action?

"I'm not eating cookies before dinner. I'm having cookies for dinner!"

"See this jelly wobbling. It was waving goodbye."

'Thank goodness you were wrong mom, dad says a period is what comes at the end of a sentence.'

"Is there any way I can un-drink this wine?"

"Mommy's going to teach you how to make a hamburger."

"I think I'm having pre-traumatic stress disorder."

"I say it's Kale, and I say it's spinaches shitfaced uncle."

"Mom, does the Russian borscht you made for dinner give me foreign-policy experience?"

'No. The television screen hasn't gone red - You've got tomato ketchup all over your glasses!'

"Whose turn is it to lick the knife?"

Illustration from an Unpublished Novel

Every time you make a blend, somewhere, a wine maker dies.

The prying mantis,

The devil you know and his plus one

'Roy! For the last time, don't wave that red one in front of your Dad.'

"I see you're back from church. What was cherry-picked for you today?"

'Never mind about buying that trampoline. I love your new bed!'

"It's kind of sweet when they're all settled in like this."

"Pssst! I had some CGI done."

Miniature Cattle Fanciers