Friend Of The Child Gifts

'Jennifer's playing with my imaginary friend and she won't let me play with him.'

"Can we do that again tomorrow night?"

A young Don King

'Ahhh...'

I will study my speling words...

'X is unknown? Even to somebody with all your education?'

"What do you think I can get for it on the blackboard market?"

'Still having a hard time finding day care?'

(When I'm good I'm very very good, but when I'm bad I'm... Well….) (Horrid?)

"I give up. Where's the power button?"

My book report is based on the audio book of the same name.

Timmy had one heck of a security blanket.

Twenty-first century baby walker

"Bad things happen to people who don't buy my cookies, Sir."

WELCOME TO KINDERGARTEN!, 'Boy, talk about psychobabbl!'

'Don't leave baby alone with this really cool tiny phone. It's a choking hazard.'

'In Show and Tell today, I showed my birthmark! I got expelled!'

'I know what you're thinking, are those legal shoes.'

"Some school - They teach us about the Fifth Amendment, but they won't let us use it on TESTS!"

'Look. Billy Curry did a nude!'

'Still having problems finding a baby sitter?'

Boys making skis from bits of fence.

'You still owe me the pony from last year!'

"11th Grade Math for Nincompoops"

Kid to kid: 'I can't be wearing out my welcome. I didn't even step on it.'

'How was I to know that my invisible friend was so rambunctious?'

Teacher to student: 'Nice use of glitter, but you were assigned to do math problems.'

Child steps off chair and says, 'Tough crowd.'(Cat looks impassive)

"My homework is not done because our home modem is tool slow for downloading the answers."

'Please Miss, is it where Noah kept his bees?'

To save some cash my parents held my 8th B'day party at Lenny's Tap + Grill....

"There's my very first school - where I learned how to hug."

'You sure your dad won't mind if we use his silicone spray?'

'Grownups are stupid! How can you be good and have fun?'

'Trade you lunches?'