Friend Of The Child Gifts

'Jennifer's playing with my imaginary friend and she won't let me play with him.'

"Can we do that again tomorrow night?"

A young Don King

I will study my speling words...

'Ahhh...'

'X is unknown? Even to somebody with all your education?'

"What do you think I can get for it on the blackboard market?"

'Still having a hard time finding day care?'

My book report is based on the audio book of the same name.

Timmy had one heck of a security blanket.

"I give up. Where's the power button?"

Twenty-first century baby walker

(When I'm good I'm very very good, but when I'm bad I'm... Well….) (Horrid?)

WELCOME TO KINDERGARTEN!, 'Boy, talk about psychobabbl!'

'Don't leave baby alone with this really cool tiny phone. It's a choking hazard.'

"Bad things happen to people who don't buy my cookies, Sir."

'In Show and Tell today, I showed my birthmark! I got expelled!'

'I know what you're thinking, are those legal shoes.'

"Some school - They teach us about the Fifth Amendment, but they won't let us use it on TESTS!"

'Look. Billy Curry did a nude!'

'Still having problems finding a baby sitter?'

'You still owe me the pony from last year!'

Boys making skis from bits of fence.

Kid to kid: 'I can't be wearing out my welcome. I didn't even step on it.'

"11th Grade Math for Nincompoops"

'How was I to know that my invisible friend was so rambunctious?'

Teacher to student: 'Nice use of glitter, but you were assigned to do math problems.'

Child steps off chair and says, 'Tough crowd.'(Cat looks impassive)

'Please Miss, is it where Noah kept his bees?'

"My homework is not done because our home modem is tool slow for downloading the answers."

"There's my very first school - where I learned how to hug."

To save some cash my parents held my 8th B'day party at Lenny's Tap + Grill....

'Grownups are stupid! How can you be good and have fun?'

'Trade you lunches?'

'You sure your dad won't mind if we use his silicone spray?'