Friend Appreciating Parents Pillows

"I adore kids, but I also adore Netflix."

'Well,he certainly has his father's nose!'

"I'd like to thank my parents and my creditors for making this possible."

"I'm exempt from the company fitness program. I have triplets at home."

"Sure, helicopter parenting is bad but drone parenting is way worse."

"You're fatigued, run down, anxious, with high blood pressure, back ache, and a general malaise. You've got kids."

"How many times do I have to beep you?"

"...My daughter, the model..."

"And this is Joshua, he'll be a hundred and forty-seven months next week."

Beware of teething baby.

"Go, take the afternoon off, I'll babysit: he'll be safe with me..."

'He's been having temper tantrums. Can you recommend a good anger management course?'

"These conferences are a good thing. It keeps parents off the streets."

'Hey Mum, look what I caught!'

Health and Safety Gone Mad - "It doesn't look safe, his face is totally exposed to danger."

"Very impressive. Leave it with me. Mommy will get back to you by the week."

'We just have to stop meeting like this!'

'Now that's what I call a sneeze!'

'It seems like only yesterday that Sharon was knee high!'

"Where are all the rodents?! Hmmm, that baby girl in the stroller can't be that heavy..."

'Excuse me - could you please get out of my way - I've got a baby.'

The Truth Fairy.

"I'm not surprised that it's a bad school report. Statistics indicate that children get their intelligence from their fathers!"

"Before it's too late, Dad, I want to take the opportunity to say 'I love you.'"

'Ms. Evertz, has my mother been snooping around my office again?'

'Everything's fine with the babysitter - from what I could hear above the music and clinking glasses.'

Parental Valentines Day Cards

"Just dropped by to do my groceries."

"At least you're not afraid to fail."

"I adore kids, but I also adore Netflix."

"It was great seeing you – we'll have to have you two over once the kids have grown up and left for college."

'Come on Timmy, you must eat your greens.'

"My best friend ran away...WITHOUT my wife."