Friday Funnies Gifts

"And that, gentlemen, is the Friday 4.55 pm Bad News Email Dump."

Desk trays - 'in', 'out', and 'one of these days'.

'Will you kindly remind the rest of the staff that I'm the managing director - not the Godfather!'

"I wanted a Meticulous Monday or a Thorough Thursday report. This reads more like a Frivolous Friday."

Browned off cows. They can't pull a cracker.

You realize, Harris, if you LIVED here, you'd be home by now.

"Damn! Just as my inertia was starting to build up momentum."

'Next time the pastor asks if you know what his sermon was about, the answer is not about three hours.'

'I should have told you, every Friday senior partners get to do the Prosecco Polonaise.'

'You know when kids are good or bad? Are you with NSA?'

"105% of the staff who completed 84% of the process were 95% sure that it was a 100% waste of time."

'I hear we're beginning to cut back to half weeks.'

"At least she got it to squeak when she tripped over it."

Happy hour.

'Talk about paranoid. He reads the fine print on his money.'

"I'm introducing EXTREME casual Fridays."

'This photo is hardly suitable for your misery memoir.'

'This mandarin chicken is delicious, Dad. It tastes like you bought it yourself.'

"I've never been so humiliated in my entire week."

"Well, do you have proof it wasn't bigfoot?

'A substitute teacher on a Friday! What an awesome way to start the weekend!'

Demon in the elevator. Man says: 'Sorry, are you going up or down?'

'Monday is too far from Friday, yet Friday is too close to Monday.'

"Perhaps we should rethink 'Don't Come To Work Fridays.'"

They're short of staff!

'This is the only time I really get to seize the day.'

More toxic assets.

'Was the interview too early for you?'

"I'm impressed by your energy. It must be near 5 o'clock Friday."

"Yeh the reports nearly done, I'm beginning to see light at the end of the tunnel."

"I don't get it. I've prayed to God to get rich just like the televangelist told me. but nothing happened."

'Bloody hell, Jack and Jill! Can't you do a simple thing like fetch a pail of water without getting stoned?'

"The video of you giving that big bloke a piece of your mind has gone viral!"