Freshness Fanatic Gifts

Chef picking salad leaves from a hanging basket outside his restaurant.

Fresh milk - Self service

The sea salt here is so authentic.

Puppy puts deodorant on the slippers.

"Like the sign says, freshness guaranteed."

'Have you tried our home-made wine?'

Counting ribs

What the Doctor Ordered

"Our Summer Citrus IPA contains your full daily requirement of fruit and fiber."

"Yo, Cézanne, paint faster. I need those grapes for the Madeira sauce."

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

"I want something that will make Richard Burton sit up and take notice."

Woman pouring perfume into her bath.

The Teen Years of A Red Delicious.

'Needs salt!'

"Our fresh seasonal hand-crafted brews contain a full serving of spring vegetables."

A shop selling "Ice-cold Vodka" in 31 flavors.

"I forgot to take a pic of the tacos."

Harsh Mellows.

Ice Cream Dreams.

The Gospel According To Jane Brody"Orange, come in. Apple, come in. Hey you, frankfurter, hold it right there."

"Yes, we have blue cheese. Do you want it in electric, sky or navy blue?"

Tarzan of the Grapes.

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

'You wanted to be a wine maker in the worst way, Paul - and you've succeeded.'

Our farmer brought fresh beans, tomatoes, corn and squash this week. Nice. You should have bought into the farm share. I've got my own farmer. Mine's cheap. Mine's cheaper. Thanks, mom. You can't take more zucchini?

"I hope you won't repent afterwards, Vicar, It's a devilishly hot vindaloo!"

A corner market is taken over by suburban sprawl.

'Have you no common scents?!'

"You got maybe one that smells like cheese blintzes frying?"

Large, wrinkly

Newton forgets gravity, discovers delicious apple

'Hey, wait a minute...Apples aren't indigenous to this geopraphical region.'

"I'll have the barbecued half-pounder, with all the ramifications."

Walkers