Fresh-squeezed Fanatic T-Shirts

"She's asking if it's fresh-squeezed. Should I tell her to f**k off?"

"If oceans are absorbing more carbon dioxide, why isn't this water fizzy?"

The last song before the party exploded.

"You know that moon was passed a minute ago?..."

'Just three pieces of cake for 200 hundred guests?'

Chef picking salad leaves from a hanging basket outside his restaurant.

Champagne Charlie.

'Do you mind if I take a straw?'

'...but since no fossils of dinosaur clothing have yet been found, what you see here is mostly speculation.'

Justice for a heckler.

'This cola only has half the calories, so if I only drink half that would be no calories!'

'I'm afraid I have bad news for you. That sweet tooth has got to come out.'

Farmed Salmon Restaurant - Everyone squashed together.

"During Lent we must share with poor children what we have in abundance."

Noel Fever

'Little Miss Muffet 2009'

'I'm afraid it's worse than we thought. The creamy nougat has spread to your head.'

Kangaroo in a hurry.

Puppy puts deodorant on the slippers.

Fresh milk - Self service

"I'm a big devotee of fasting."

Gardener's Calendar: April - Your lawn will have started to grow now.

"I need an appointment."

"Actually, kale is toxic."

The Hellish Sermon

"In Mexico and El Salvador, they call cake 'pastel.' Colombians and Argentines call it a 'torta.' Puerto Ricans and 'Domicans call it 'bizcocho.' And Cubans call it 'keik.'"

"I love putting on clothes fresh from the dryer."