Frequent Traveler Gifts

"I love the convenience, but the roaming charges are killing me."

"Hey! That was my stop back there!"

'I don't care what the TSA guy at the airport told you, it's not cancerous.'

"Where do I swipe?"

'Is this your first time at formation flying?'

Husband returning home from a convention.

"How much?!... I'm sorry, I think there's been a misunderstanding. I only want to buy a ticket, not the train!"

I wish to complain. Someone left a chocolate on my pillow!

"We've been from sea to shining sea! Why don't you admit you're lost!"

A Migrating Bird's Worse Nightmare

Good - next exit. Better - 10 miles. Best - 20 miles.

"Are we there yet?"

Hitchiking Instead Of Flying...

"To think all it takes is a deadly viral pandemic to get people to wash their hands and put shoes on."

Road Rage Ahead.

'Not only am I a frequent flyer, I'm a frequent waiter.'

'No you can't take my name... it's mine!'

"Didn't they fly by earlier?"

"We can't go on meeting like this. It's costing you a fortune in repairs."

"Sorry, but you're going to have to bag-check that."

"I'm sorry sir – I can't discuss individual cases..."

"Don't worry. If we're too late, we can always catch the secondary screening."

Moshi Moshi?

"Next vacation, let's leave the chicken home."

'We only have rooms with real teeth left!'

Budget Air - Click here if you agree to be being treated like dirt

Airport emotional baggage.

"I forgot to cancel the pizza leaflets..."

US Airlines

Looking After the Garden When You're Away: On no account let the neighbour's dog see you go...

"Here’s the thermostat. Like all hotel thermostats, it’s just for show."

Once again, someone has taken all the little soaps and shampoos.

I just don't think she needs to get a souvenir every time we migrate.

For the chemist on the go: Laptop gas chromatography/mass spectrometer.

Thank God You're Home - The House Is A Mess