Frequent Driver Gifts

Highway Robbery

Motorway services charging extra if you want your food cooked.

The World's Easiest Airport

'You want a quick read? How about this one: 'Memoirs of an Amnesic'?'

"Passengers, as we begin our descent, you may now suddenly act open and friendly to the person beside you."

'I feel like my ears are about to pop.'

Technique #54 airlines are adopting for handling excessive carry on luggage.

Excess Baggage: Airlines are constantly working on new seating configurations.

Technological Dependence.

"Don't worry. If we're too late, we can always catch the secondary screening."

Airport Bored Rooms

"Hell: The Airport"

Business-Class.

'I'm just here on a lay-over.'

Things Mothers don't want to hear from their five year olds...

"Okay, ha ha, now seriously...Where's the rest of the nuts?"

"As a courtesy for the inconvenience, please accept a voucher for three additional hours of your life, redeemable upon your death."

Skip the TSA scans by wearing a Burka

"I know what the airlines charge to check a bag is outrageous, but. . ."

'They're out there, they swallow your stuff, and who're you gonna call?'

'The pilot has collapsed! Does anyone here know how to fly?'

'I wouldn't be so concerned if they weren't already sitting in the exit row.'

At the gallery of Fine Art.

Route 666.

US Airlines

"Here’s the thermostat. Like all hotel thermostats, it’s just for show."

Couple putting baby through the scanner.

"He keeps touching me!"

Motorway notices reading: 'Fog. But if you can read this, it isn't that bad'.

Airplane Seatbelts

'It was HIS fault, he was doing the SPEED LIMIT!'

Heavy Traffic.

"We've been from sea to shining sea! Why don't you admit you're lost!"

"This one contains our tailgating deterrent feature."

'Empty your pockets and go through again.'