French Teacher Gifts

'I realize you're a French teacher but do you have to correct everything?'

"Jacques, some of us don't care whether 'water' is masculine or feminine."

"And the last little piggy cried, 'Oui, oui, oui' all the way home."

"Fer 'Lack of participation' in French class. You?"

'I met this French teacher...He's quite a cunning linguist!'

'You've got a vulgar accent.'

'Hey Dad, we learned to speak French at school today, listen: Cocorico!'

"Please miss, is it 'le transexual' or 'la transexual'?"

"If that's my French teacher, tell her we're moving to Cuba and they speak Cubic there."

Apples (Les Pommes)

A Puppet Named Juan

No, you idiots, they don't include a "comments" section.

Where your mind & battle are los

'... And some primitive cultures, believed that 'the great ones' modelled us from clay.'

Adult Courses. It's so hard keeping the information from different classes separate! I'm talking film history and psychology. I failed a test because I said a "psychopath" is the walkway Norman Bates took home. I also confused geography and aeronautics. I said the "great plains" are located at an Air Force testing base in the California desert. My worst nightmare was confusing the thinks ti learned in driver's education and statistics. But at least I now know it's driving where you must st

"1984 by George Orwell. Project 2025. Presidential transition project."

The Signing of tthe United States Constitution

Ethics exam cheater.

"Are you insane?!" The Velveteen Skunk

"To torture an insect or not to torture an insect, that is the question."

'I'm reading aloud, Jeremy - My lips are SUPPOSED to be moving!'

'My penmanship has really improved since I got a laser printer.'

"You're losing the audience. Switch to the Powerpoint presentation."

'You may now turn over your paper and begin.' - 'Sir!' - 'Yes?' - 'What is it?' - 'I think Train 'A' and Train 'B' might be going to crash!'

"That's the guy I hired to read Proust for me."

Copycats

I should be a writer when I grow up...

'Couldn't Peter claim Mr. McGregor's garden was an 'attractive nuisance?'

Gender Equality

Blue Stockings - Woman revealing herself as author

Computer Room.

"... and I have a follow-up question regarding rawhide."

"If a stock falls in the market, and it had no investors, does it really lose its value?"

'Peter the Flying Hippo is my favorite storybook character without any merchandising tie-ins.'

Hey, calm down --- Now, what did you say again?