Festive Teacher Gifts

"It's Valentine's Day, Miss Hanover. May we dot our i's with little hearts?"

'Santa recalled thousands of toys ― he delivered them to kids who're in fact naughty.'

"A GPS! Thanks guys! It's exactly what I need to guide my sleigh...you know, in light of that unfortunate hunting accident."

Happy Holidays from Sanitary Claus!

Frozen Turkey: "I hate to bother you on a holiday but I'm freezing out here. Do you have a heated enclosed space I could rest inside for four to five hours?"

'Tom will coordinate our pre-holiday point-of-purchase displays and Mark will coordinate our post holiday point-of-return displays.'

Help! Have to pay back a big world bank loan.

Classic Emojis for sale.

The Problem with On-the-fly Christmas Caroling

"We'll see how it goes. It's Santa's first year with the genetically modified deer."

"Just as I feared. Tariffs."

'Due to budget cuts we are having to take on more temporary staff.'

Safe Christmas.

"And if you don't know what to say, just say, 'Ho, ho, ho!''

There IS a Santa Claus.

"Santa's trying to corner the futures market for coal in anticipation of his visit to Washington."

"This weekend is seriously messing with some of my previously held beliefs."

Rescuing the NHS for Christmas

Xmas

'Sorry - I left the naughty kid files on the train.'

Christmas Group Therapy.

Santa playing golf.

"Twenty percent bluechips, ten percent small-caps, five percent currency hedges and the remainder in cash. Get that list to Santa right away."

"Mom said we shoulda brought the truck...."

The Mime Family Enjoying Their Christmas Presents.

Elf

"Hope you have got a good retirement plan, old man?"

"An aluminum baseball bat? Are you kidding? With the tariffs, my raw material costs are up 25%. How about some soybeans?"

'I can't talk now. I'm in the annual meeting.'

"Kids on the right, elves on the left."

"I can't help but feel disappointed."

"No more for him, he has to drive."

"How much of a gratuity does Santa usually get?"

Santa accidentally brings his mail bag instead of his gift bag.

"Sorry Rudolph, this year I'm going with Steve and his sweet disco ball nose."