French Cuisine Aficionados Gifts

'Snails! Are you having me on?'

Restaurant Francais: All you can pronounce £30.

"...But ASIDE from that, how was your trip to France?"

Paris' magnificent Trifle tower.

"All the butter was gone. There was no way out. The puff pastry had to be made with margarine... from a tub."

'Your stab at ordering the wine in French went well.'

Grand Escargot at a Parisian Eatery.

Garlic Free Zone.

"I think foie gras is French for endless buffet."

Highlights From The Annual Central Park Country Fair

"The prices they charge here, you'd expect them to have an oven not just a gas ring!"

'Two famous French wines.' 'Red and white.'

"Gigot de sept heures."

"Then again, an honest profile picture would not have got me a wonderful 'Duck Confit with a Chocolat Creme Brulee.'"

"Oh, but we could be so good together...!"

Cooking with Pierre

''Romantic'? No -- but it makes me feel like having a CROISSANT!'

Culinary Culture.

"Interested in some romantic punk rock during your dinner?"

'Hey, Frenchie - you call this paupiettes de beouf aux legumes?'

'My French is not so good.'

'Here's a good one, France on 2000 calories a day.'

"Our French chef just quit, so instead of the crepes you ordered, I made a breakfast burrito."

Paul Bocuse caricature

'The escargots are underdone.'

'The Entrecote a la Bordelaise? It's stuff on a plate.'

"My bouche was not amused."

"I love when you make asparagus soup!"

French man holding a dish.

"Pat? de fois gras avec des petits pois et pommes de terre au gratin? Very well, sir ? is generic okay?"

'Yes, all our flambe dishes come with injury, liability insurance.'

"And when I get to this fancy French restaurant, will they be glad to see me?"

Garlic, the wonderful stinking rose.

'If that is a toenail, it is a French toenail.'

"The Garlic Escargot Velouté...would you like that in the traditional tureen, or supersized in a bucket?"