Freemasonry Gifts

Monumental Masons

Rodin's Freemason (unfinished)

'I see the newspapers are suggesting that Freemasons get preferential treatment again.'

'I just joined the Freemasons and I'm afraid you're our next sacrifice..'

Was the Illuminati - now the Illuminasty

Instructional guide to scribbling

'You've reached McWit Quality Construction. If your foundation has cracked, press 1, if your plumbing is leaking press 2, if your house is collapsing, press 3 ...'

At times Richard dreaded coming home, as he knew he'd have to face the music.

"Suddenly, you’re a fan of New England stone work?"

Pyramid catflap...

'Masonry robot, what are you doing?'

"We're going to build in Rhinebeck, once Steven finds the right brick."

Copywriter's blank paper compared to the gridded screen of a content provider.

'Now you know where you left your tools.'

Last Chance for Everything.

Cosmetic Stone Mason.

Build a home where the buffalo roam? Bah!

'Watch your step. I lost my footing on these dang paving stones.'

"Well, that's the scaffolding up...We'll be back next week to start building..."

Rodin's Freemason (unfinished)

'...And it comes with valuable coupons toward your next purchase.'

"This must be Easter Island!"

Medieval sculptor hits thumb while carving a gargoyle.

"Apparently he needed an emergency hernia operation shortly afterwards!"

"Hey. Stop that. You're creeping us out."

'What ever happened to that persnickety inspector?'

Cost cutting construction ideas that failed: using rhubarb instead of rebar in concrete.

'McWit never could build anything level.'

'One good thing about this place is that I can honestly say I own everything as far as the eye can see.'

'I could use it to build a house.' - 'Build house.' - 'I could stand on it to see over a wall.' - 'See over wall.' - 'How about a masonry enema if I don't get the job, eh?' - 'Help!'

Waiting for the Phone to Ring

It doesn't matter if our house is made out of bricks, we've got a sub-prime mortgage!

'Of course, that bid's just an estimate.'

Ghosts save on electrical & plumbing maintenance costs because they don't need easy access to the inside of walls.

"The Ten Commandments Do-It-Yourself Kit"