Free Will Debater Gifts

'Well, you DO have free will... you just choose to be a fatalist.'

"How dare they defy me by doing what I predestined them to do!?!"

Church leader at desk has 3 boxes marked 'Black', 'White' and 'Gray Area'.

"When faced with a tricky ethical issue, I always ask the question, 'What's in it for me?'"

"O.K., O.K., people - we're not workshopping these, they're already set in stone."

"Trust me Jesus, if you want to make a bigger impact work on being seeker friendly."

Dialogue

'A religious zealot denounces a toaster for working on the Sabbath'

"Now that's a win."

'You'll never believe this - they've found the actual body of Jesus!'

"Strawman argument terrorises conversation... News at eleven."

"That's six 'noes' and one 'aye', the ayes have it"

"Mainstream? Who's to say what's mainstream?"

"Do you think the flat earth society has members round the globe?"

'How do we SLEEP at night?'

'Forget it. Bioethics doesn't apply to us.'

Jesus Christ, Health Insurance CEO

"You can't offend me. I never mix religion or politics with reality."

The Church of DanaeDanaeism: 'And let such sacrilege go uncontested? Never! I demand equal time for alternate explanations of things.'

Plant Parenthood...

"Ever notice how grateful people are when you present them with facts contrary to their beliefs?"

Oz Debating Society. You can't refute everything I say just by call it a "straw man" argument.

"On the contrary, Bosworth, it's YOU who has lost all perspective."

'I'm now going to open the floor to questions.'

"I'm an agnostic now that I've started having self doubts."

'Naughty? Nice? Santa, I don't deal in absolutes.'

Debating Society. I can accept that money is speech as long as we can agree that some spending is like yelling fire in a theater.

A bunch of global warming skeptics want to join eco club. It's a school organization. You have to let them in. But they just want to harass us with selective facts! Today: Eco club. So? Debate is good. You have :An Inconvenient Truth" to counter their arguments. Oh. Great. Now we'll have to read it.

Frankly, it’s too grim for a comedy, and too silly for a tragedy.

"There is a medical use for marijuana. I sold it to pay my tuition at medical school."

"When we tested this medication on dogs, nobody noticed any side effects."

Like Minded

You're on "Ask Sadie." What's your problem?! Super delegates. A candidate could win the most votes in the primaries but lose anyway of the superdelegates want someone else! Can you believe that? Oh stop yer sniveling. In my day, the parties chose candidates in smoke-filled backrooms without even pretending the people get a vote. At least this charade gets you out of the house. Gets the blood pumping. I guess.

Memory Content is King

The only Universal Truths that all religions agree upon.