Free Kick Philosopher Pillows

"It evened out, for every free kick they got, we had one against us."

"Good game."

"It turns out crows find a bunch of dead crows more frightening than a man made out of hay."

'Who's this 'Art in Heaven' guy you keep talking about?'

"I work out in preparation for being out of shape for the next 30 years."

Critisize your weight.

"Try picking up a girl after you've renounced everything."

"Apparently, when the tide came in, a lot of castles went bust."

"Smoke a cigar that fits your face."

An old man exercising with hourglasses

'Let the record show that I suggested primordial souffl'ee.'

Guy in gym

When the Job Market Shifts, Always Remember That It's All Your Fault

'There goes another one. Galileo, don't you have any idea what makes them do that?'

Toys from the Pre School of Hard Knocks - Stumbling Blocks.

'How did he make the world in six days?'

"Just how many ways are there to skin a cat?"

"When did everybody stop jogging?"

T-shirt reads: 'No Pain, No Pain.'

'Since you're a teacher, we picked this one from the Tree of Knowledge.'

The Meaning of Life

Grass: We lost some good men today!

My definition of 'quality time?'...charging $500 per hour.

"What should I say this is about?"

'On my new diet I can eat anything I want, but have to walk 500 miles a day.'

Yoga. Welcome back! Thank you. Why did you stop coming? I couldn't decide if I liked yoga, or

"How do you know he was offsides? How do you know anything? Isn’t it possible this is all a dream?!"

Dept. de Philosophie

"Up here everything is pretty much opposite."

"You forgot to adjust your hilling discs again, didn't you?"

'I'm feeling a little remiss about missing both free throws.'

"I guess when you run out of Tooth Fairy teeth, you gotta go get a job!"

'I bet he can run twice as fast as you can.' 'But he has twice as many legs!'

'When I was ready to read, they taught me to tie my shoes - when I was ready to tie my shoes, they taught me to read.'

That's where we're different. I see the toilet bows half-full, and you see the toilet bowl half-empty.