Fraud Prevention Buff Gifts

Anti-Fraud Drive.

"It's not the first time he'd been warned about wearing a long tie when leaning over the shredder."

Health and Safety Gone Mad.

"Do Mr. Reaper, do you have health insurance?"

"We'll get there when we get there!"

"I worked hard, I played hard and I embezzled hard."

"Remember, when you back up, make that 'beep beep' sound."

Big finger print trying to forge a cheque but he can't.

'I can't believe an Alligator stole my identity... I mean, it's quite obvious I'm a Crocodile!'

'You know, this is a pretty dangerous line of work you're in...'

'We are in a race against time and the auditors. Gentlemen...start your shredders!'

'By the looks of these skid marks, Humpty didn't fall- he was pushed!'

'You realize, of course, that that's the fifth 25 stake we've now sold in our entertainment division.'

Uncle Sam and health care.

'The bad news is the Big Bad Wolf is coming. The good news is I've got some great rates on Homeowner's Insurance!'

'A-1 security from crime ... but can't stand the isolation.'

"Looks like he's been salted, Sarge.2

"Are you feeling okay, Dennis? Your obituary is in the paper."

"You can lie to the prosecutor but don't ever lie to your co-conspirators."

"Check this wall for fingerprints."

Mash-Test Dummies.

"Warning! Not to be used as a life saving device."

Bernard Madoff's House Arrest.

Black market trade in foodstuffs is thriving.

Chicken Crime Scene.

"It's going to get us for sure. Buying that meteorite insurance was a stroke of genius."

"Your condition appears to have deteriorated considerably since your last cheque bounced."

'Your employer's health plan automatically cancels your coverage once you get sick.'

'You know, you're a very expensive employee because we have to contribute to nine retirement and life insurance plans for you.'

"As your cell bitch, I imagine my Sarbanes-Oxley expertise should come in quite handy."

'I say we forget about these particular chickens...'

"It's easier to make 'em talk when you just cement the feet."

"We're from Neighborhood Watch. We'd like to see some I.D."