Fraternity Rush Pillows

"That's the famous Josh—a high-impact body harboring a very low-impact mind."

'It's rather unorthodox, but it appears the deposit refund on the empties will cover your first interest payment.'

'I hope I run out of money before I flunk out.'

Famous Last Words: "Whew! Well, at least the worst is behind us."

Bro of Frankenstein

'-but I keep telling you-these things take time...'

A frat party at an online university

"It's a brovella about my life in the frat. But if it's longer than two hundred pages it becomes a brahvel."

Man at Heaven's gate with different college letter than St. Pete

'You know the rule, new guy carries the lotion.'

Man sees college fraternity houses 'Kappa Phi', 'Aeta Epsalon' and then 'Beta Carotene', says, 'They major in nutrition.'

"Let me guess, you joined Alpha Delta Dogma"

"This is a weird frat."

"Sure, we hobnobbed, but we never networked."

"Ogden, could you pull a string and get me one of those pictures of you naked at Yale?"

'Here's to vague college memories that keep 3 old guys without much in common anymore sharing a drink once a year.'

'I need time off to go back to college and party. Fraternity leave.'

God's frat house.

"There was no hazing involved. We simply beat him up."

'Huck me.'

Beerboarding 101

"Bro, no!"

"Why don't you try the Omega house? I don't think you're Alpha dog material."

Brett Beer: It's the best beer to ever make me ralph. And I've ralphed a lot.

"Whoa! Turns out you're sixty-four percent douchebag, Kyle."

Pizza Initiation

'Welcome to the frat, Todd! OK, Bob. Your turn. If you want to be a member, you've got to let him get you riiiight up to the net before you snap the line.'

Coming in first place is yet another average New Yorker late for work.

Just a sec...

"Sorry, Rex, I can't chat right now, running late: I'm off to the business park..."

Kappa Delta Cosa Nostra

"Pledge Kavanaugh reporting for hazing."