Fraternity Funster Pillows

'Welcome to the frat, Todd! OK, Bob. Your turn. If you want to be a member, you've got to let him get you riiiight up to the net before you snap the line.'

'I hope I run out of money before I flunk out.'

"Being raised in the city, Fred didn’t quite grasp the true purpose of a game camera."

"I wanted a Meticulous Monday or a Thorough Thursday report. This reads more like a Frivolous Friday."

"Forget the allowance - I need a benefactor!"

"These few weeks off school have convinced me that I'm definitely a stay-at-home kid."

'The puppy just downloaded on your computer keyboard.'

With Grandpa it was often a game of hide and sleep.

"You think you hate me now, but just wait until I'm old and a burden to you."

'Before we begin, he's the one that's been helping me with my homework.'

"Are you ready to engage with rock-rased content?"

'One placebo or two, doctor?'

The Horse Jump - One girl makes it over, the other is cover in leaves.

'Look. A mom with a handy carrying case.'

'He takes after your mother' (colour)

"...but do not take Clynkovix if you are already taking any other drug with a ridiculous name."

"Please let go of Daddy's chest hair."

'Young Master and I are both turning two: How come I'm so much more mature than he is?'

"How do you like my 'Pop art'?"

'Not beans on toast again.' - 'No, toast on beans. I dropped it.'

'Did you know that turkeys and dinosaurs are closely related? Meet my cousin, Lenny!'

'Congratulations Mrs Marrow, it's a courgette.'

Football

"You spoil that boy."

"The water for your fishbowl was approved, but it looks like for now you're not getting the fish."

"One day you'll thank me for embarrassing you in front of the entire Internet."

'Okay Dad, time to unwind.'

Actualities - Artists abusing permission to exhibit more than three pictures this year

'Mom never said she was a clown!'

"Psychiatric emergency service? Please come fast, I have one here who believes in me!"

Naughty kids watching TV and telling their slack dad to go back to his kennel.

'If there are any current employees traveling with children or siblings or cousins or nephews or...'

'I seem to be very conservative but secretly, I'm a rebel - I don't wear pants.'