Fraternity Funster T-Shirts

'Welcome to the frat, Todd! OK, Bob. Your turn. If you want to be a member, you've got to let him get you riiiight up to the net before you snap the line.'

'I hope I run out of money before I flunk out.'

"Being raised in the city, Fred didn’t quite grasp the true purpose of a game camera."

Cheeze Wiz.

"I told you. . . use your inside miming."

"Forget the allowance - I need a benefactor!"

"I wanted a Meticulous Monday or a Thorough Thursday report. This reads more like a Frivolous Friday."

"These few weeks off school have convinced me that I'm definitely a stay-at-home kid."

With Grandpa it was often a game of hide and sleep.

'The puppy just downloaded on your computer keyboard.'

"You think you hate me now, but just wait until I'm old and a burden to you."

'Before we begin, he's the one that's been helping me with my homework.'

"Are you ready to engage with rock-rased content?"

The Horse Jump - One girl makes it over, the other is cover in leaves.

'One placebo or two, doctor?'

'Look. A mom with a handy carrying case.'

"How do you like my 'Pop art'?"

'He takes after your mother' (colour)

"Please let go of Daddy's chest hair."

'Young Master and I are both turning two: How come I'm so much more mature than he is?'

"...but do not take Clynkovix if you are already taking any other drug with a ridiculous name."

'No honey, you can't sell him on ebay.'

'Look, honey, the baby's got your mouth.'

"You spoil that boy."

'Congratulations Mrs Marrow, it's a courgette.'

'Did you know that turkeys and dinosaurs are closely related? Meet my cousin, Lenny!'

'Not beans on toast again.' - 'No, toast on beans. I dropped it.'

Football

"The water for your fishbowl was approved, but it looks like for now you're not getting the fish."

"One day you'll thank me for embarrassing you in front of the entire Internet."

'Mom never said she was a clown!'

'Okay Dad, time to unwind.'

"Psychiatric emergency service? Please come fast, I have one here who believes in me!"

Actualities - Artists abusing permission to exhibit more than three pictures this year

Naughty kids watching TV and telling their slack dad to go back to his kennel.