Frat House Tourism Guide Gifts

"That's the famous Josh—a high-impact body harboring a very low-impact mind."

Clown couple in bed with wavy mirror above their bed.

Frat House Feng Shui

"Check it out, bro - this pneumatic tub pipes us from the frat to Wallstreet."

'You know the rule, new guy carries the lotion.'

"It's a brovella about my life in the frat. But if it's longer than two hundred pages it becomes a brahvel."

Canine Frat Parties

"Let me guess, you joined Alpha Delta Dogma"

"This is a weird frat."

"I would work if I could but it interferes with my thinking!"

'We love having you in the Granny flat, mother, but we must respect each others space.'

"At least we agree that buying a glass house was a lousy idea."

"Sure, we hobnobbed, but we never networked."

"Ogden, could you pull a string and get me one of those pictures of you naked at Yale?"

"This place, like the last one, has one big window that's also a door."

'I need time off to go back to college and party. Fraternity leave.'

"This is all I could find in your price range - but it has a lot of natural light."

"One question: Do the windows open?"

God's frat house.

Beerboarding 101

'Huck me.'

"Why don't you try the Omega house? I don't think you're Alpha dog material."

Brett Beer: It's the best beer to ever make me ralph. And I've ralphed a lot.

"Whoa! Turns out you're sixty-four percent douchebag, Kyle."

'Welcome to the frat, Todd! OK, Bob. Your turn. If you want to be a member, you've got to let him get you riiiight up to the net before you snap the line.'

goldfish swallowing has never become passe at Kitty Kat Frat.

"They do say it's a real sun trap in the late afternoon.."

Stick Man in the Fun House.

Kappa Delta Cosa Nostra

". . . And the winner of the flat-race season is 74c, Everard Mansions. . ."

Mars Welcome