Frat House Hero Gifts

'Huck me.'

"The dryer giveth and the dryer taketh away."

Believe it or not: Once upon a time Dads couldn't even boil water.

"Maybe the unseen hand of the market will change the diaper."

"I take it the toilet is fixed?"

Man's cooking explodes.

'Sometimes I wish we'd never told him he was adopted.'

'Caw blimey!'

The household cavalry

'The upside is that if the water gets high enough all your termites might drown.'

'She deserves it since she's raised our three kids with me overseas.'

'Look! It's superwoman...and all her assistants!'

Indoor Football

'Daddy, what did you do on Armed Services Day?'

'Hanging around the house, Fred, just in case.'

"I did my 10,000 steps by looking for my reading glasses."

'Ladies no more messy pet hairs to worry about with the Decko Dynamic!'

man juggling career, home and children

And so Bob's folks sent him off into the world. But not before running a few last tests, just to be sure he could handle it.

"I wish you'd get more in touch with your masculine side, Robert"

Rising Housing Costs vs Wages.

'Let's get this party started!'

Homeless count.

"If the nanny state wants us to solve the housing crisis they need to get out of the way and let us learn from the leaders in the field..."

"I only need two tools: WD-40 if something doesn't move that should, and duct tape if something moves that shouldn't!"

You can't focus on the cost of raising a child. True. They do have benefits. Mom! The glue spilled into your underwear drawer! Dad! Where's the toilet plunger? Though nothing specific leaps to mind.

"Okay, you two! Clean up the house and do the laundry while I take the kids to school!"

'A great location and only one step from the beach.'

'Yes, yes, Rupert, you are still a mighty hunter. Now, please bring the turkey back to Luisa in the kitchen.'

"He's retreated into nationalism."

Frat House Feng Shui

'Love your renovations.'

Planner at work.

"I'm going to look for a mortgage...I may be some time!"

"Let me know when the floor is clean enough for me to put my feet on it again."