Franchise Critic Gifts

"Stick Figure" "Stick Figure II" "Stick Figures" "Stick Figure: The Reawakening"

Polluted geese

Lesser known greek gods,

"I remember when the death of the hero meant the end of the sequels. Now it marks the beginning of the prequels."

"Would anyone like to question my downsizing proposal?"

"Well, either you're hopelessly optimistic or hopelessly short-sighted."

Star Wars vs Star Trek

"In a further effort to increase profits, control costs and satisfy shareholders, we've decided to steal stuff."

"It started with a simple case of peer-review."

The writers group met every Tuesday for support and fellowship.

You can fool some of the people all of the time - "Send in some of the people, Dorothy."

"Regarding the plot of your novel ... what on earth were you thinking?"

"Get off the stage and get a copy of 'Studies of Laughter in Interaction'—I think you'll enjoy it."

"You realize, of course, that I'll have to make a big show of having security escort you out."

'The bad news is that our company is bankrupt. The good news is that we're only morally bankrupt.'

Learn to Be a Critic In The Privacy Of Your Own Home With The Apex Correspondence School Of Criticism!

'Let me at it! Let me see!!'

'Mummy, the review of this book was more interesting.'

I demand to be recompensed for the 28.47 minutes of my time your café was wasted. What? There are 1500 square feet of seating space in this café. That is room enough for 125 people. 90 percent of Americans own a personal electronic device of some sort. The quotient of that ratio of people to electronic devices is 112.5. Dividing by two produces a quotient of 56.25. So you see, it's obvious why you owe me compensation for my wasted time. I have no idea what you're saying. You only have 55 electri

'You are doing it wrong.'

'For my latest line, I bought clothes at Target and then changed the label,'

"My kid could do that."

"I'm not the responsible party. I have people for that."

At This Restaurant, There Are Only Two Dishes on the Menu and They Both Suck

"I'm Bobby. If you like the lemonade, perhaps you'd like to invest in the 'Jimmy's Lemonade' franchise, listed in NASDAQ..."

"You want organic, we'll make it organic."

'Would you like me to wipe the cup with my finger or would you prefer Rover here licking it clean?'

If you can't afford the milk you drink, there are options. I can put you on a payment plan. Minimal APR since you're such a valued customer. Valued?! You hardly treat me like I'm valued, you miser! YOU TREAT ME WITH CONTEMPT! Good point. Maximum APR, then.

Ok, I'll put in the hundred thousand for a 50% share of your St. George franchise.

"Recent research has yielded some frightening results...It turns out we are a business team held forever on a presentation chart, locked away in a supply closet."

"Hang on! - we've possibly go another couple of films left in here!!"

Peace on Earth

"You know, maybe he's not the small-business man he claims to be."

'Here's your lemonade and here's some descriptive literature about my franchising opportunities.'

"Budget Cuts."