Framing Gifts

"Painting was her love, but framing was her passion."

Framing. Folks, how about leaving two inches between the picture and frame? More! No, less! the border is a very controversial subject.

'The degrees? They're phony! I just like to show off what I made in the framing course I took.'

"For the best picture not having won anything thereby being eliminated from this category..."

Department of Theatre, Film and Television: Lights...Camera...Unemployment!

"Well, what did you expect? They were both missing vital organs."

"Remind me: Is it the New York Critics Award or the Sundance Audience Prize that always lets us down?"

"It was years ago, for a nature documentary, and they said it was going to be very artistic."

"What the %@!!* is that?!" "Is that a leg? Wait—no, it's an arm. Wait—what?" "The frame is nice." "Whatever it is, it makes me miss Bob Ross." "Gasp!" "The intentionally lost Caravaggio"

"I remember when the death of the hero meant the end of the sequels. Now it marks the beginning of the prequels."

"An actor, you say? Guess you caught the acting-like-a-waiter bug."

"I may not know much about art, but I do know what's suitable for framing."

The ghosts of Christmas yet to come.

"Seth, here, is one of the best young creative compromisers in the business."

"Gone with the wind with cats" "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn." "Me neither, who cares—let's take a nap."

'Dad's bedtime story was decent, but the special effects were non-existent.'

"We're never going to resolve this if you won't get your own sword."

Censors 'no' a good thing when they see it.

The Popularity of Pickleball Inspires a New Wave of Hybrid Sports.

"I hurt a lot of people during my last twelve steps."

Candid Camera store.

Kritik's Korner

The star hunters

"Say hello to my little friend."

Movie Awards. Winner. It's been a big night for Ernie! He won three times at the movie-set caterer awards! On one set he made a healthy, refreshing beverage that received rave reviews from the cast and crew. He won the "best pitcher" award for it. Did they say he won for best costumes? No, his dressings won. His sticky buns won also. For "best leading roll" performance, right? No, for best "cinnamontography"!

'...And now, the film most criticized for eroding traditional family values, the nominees are...'

"I feel a great disturbance in The Force."

"At some point, there's only so high you can raise the volume before you admit you're never gonna understand what British detectives are saying."

'I'm moving up to be Chairperson-of-the-board. One of you will be President.' (Men have fencing swords).

Now that you have a heart, you really should switch to polyunsaturated oil.

"I want you to know that emotion overrode reason."

"I'm glad they want comedy... the budget is a joke."

Do it! Go into the woods alone!...

Dorothy and Toto

'And I love the part when he finds out that it was his brother all along!'