Fortune Forager T-Shirts

A windfall pear falling straight into a bag of windfall pears.

'The prevailing wisdom is that markets are always right. I think that luck is always right.'

Always empty your fridge before starting a diet.

"I read somewhere that truffles are a gateway fungus."

'The bad news is you're going to marry a geek, and not a pro athlete. The good news is the geek owns the team.'

'Dial 1-900-Fortune.'

'This is the BEST well we've dug!!'

'You reached the Nervous Investor Fund's Hotline. The per share value is now 19.05, now 18.91, now...'

'Do I really have to remind you again about which one of us earns the truffles, Jean-Claude?'

'I want to find out what the formula was I wrote yesterday on the blackboard and was erased by the custodian.'

'Can you see the future of my 401(k)?'

'This New Year you will be bathed in a sea of cash!...Hand on...Sorry. This New Year you will need a flea bath for some sort of rash.'

"Mine says this relationship will never work out and I should dump you right now!"

"I've found that when money starts talking, you can't shut 'er up!"

'Come off it-she only said the guys will be fighting over us because you said we lived UNDER a boxing club!'

'The crystal ball says to buy and the 8-Ball says to sell.'

Man sees 'Palm Readings and Stock Projections' business window

'You see me coming here every week and paying you fifty dollars...'

" 'Unlimited salad bar' sounded better on the menu."

'After only a few years in the market I had a small fortune - unfortunately I'd started out with a big one.'

Gambling on office building construction

Golden Eggs.

"I think the milk's off!"

'Thank you for noticing, Shirley - but beauty comes at a price, It hampers my hunting, limits my berry picking and typing's a real pain,'

"Trepanning for gold"

'Risky? Good lord no! We're going to make a fortune!'

Oil explodes from the wishing well.

'Your life will being when all of your kids are married and the dog dies.'

"I see fleeting moments of happiness in between extended periods of boredom and stress."

'The very name 'windfall profits' show it's an act of god.'

"Let's save some time, shall we?... Yes, no, for about five years, since I was a small boy, yes, I can start on Monday. Thanks, bye."

"I see a red cape, oh wait, be warned: There's a sword hidden under it!"

'Of course, it's marvellous news! Absolutely marvellous! My Word! A national lottery winner! Wonderful stroke of luck!'

Fortune teller predicts a bigger family for worried parents.

"Sometimes I like to think back and reminisce about tomorrow."