Fortune Forager Gifts

A windfall pear falling straight into a bag of windfall pears.

'The prevailing wisdom is that markets are always right. I think that luck is always right.'

Always empty your fridge before starting a diet.

'The bad news is you're going to marry a geek, and not a pro athlete. The good news is the geek owns the team.'

"I read somewhere that truffles are a gateway fungus."

'Dial 1-900-Fortune.'

'This is the BEST well we've dug!!'

'You reached the Nervous Investor Fund's Hotline. The per share value is now 19.05, now 18.91, now...'

'Do I really have to remind you again about which one of us earns the truffles, Jean-Claude?'

'I want to find out what the formula was I wrote yesterday on the blackboard and was erased by the custodian.'

'This New Year you will be bathed in a sea of cash!...Hand on...Sorry. This New Year you will need a flea bath for some sort of rash.'

'Can you see the future of my 401(k)?'

"Mine says this relationship will never work out and I should dump you right now!"

'Come off it-she only said the guys will be fighting over us because you said we lived UNDER a boxing club!'

"I've found that when money starts talking, you can't shut 'er up!"

'The crystal ball says to buy and the 8-Ball says to sell.'

Man sees 'Palm Readings and Stock Projections' business window

" 'Unlimited salad bar' sounded better on the menu."

'You see me coming here every week and paying you fifty dollars...'

"Trepanning for gold"

'Thank you for noticing, Shirley - but beauty comes at a price, It hampers my hunting, limits my berry picking and typing's a real pain,'

"I think the milk's off!"

It's kind of a cross between hunting and gathering --- I calling it "taxing."

'After only a few years in the market I had a small fortune - unfortunately I'd started out with a big one.'

Gambling on office building construction

Golden Eggs.

'Risky? Good lord no! We're going to make a fortune!'

'The very name 'windfall profits' show it's an act of god.'

'Your life will being when all of your kids are married and the dog dies.'

Oil explodes from the wishing well.

"I see fleeting moments of happiness in between extended periods of boredom and stress."

"Sometimes I like to think back and reminisce about tomorrow."

Fortune teller predicts a bigger family for worried parents.

Your Winning Lottery Numbers Told: 'If they are really what you say - how come you can only afford a tent?'

'I may charge a lot but you get much more through me. I'm a psychic large.'