Fungus Forager Gifts

'Do I really have to remind you again about which one of us earns the truffles, Jean-Claude?'

True Story: Each year strangers stop to pick mushrooms that grow at the front of our house. They assure us they aren't poisonous - but never return.

Always empty your fridge before starting a diet.

The discovery of asparagus.

"I read somewhere that truffles are a gateway fungus."

"Dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, onion bagel with Nutella and cream cheese, dirt, dirt, dirt..."

'I've no time for these foragers - they come into the area and snap up all the best houses...'

An experimentalist alarms his guests by describing the appearance of the mushrooms in a dish they have just eaten.

Baby squirrel & Berries

"Never mind the porridge, someone's stolen my woodland mushroom collection."

'Ah, now's there's something different....'

" 'Unlimited salad bar' sounded better on the menu."

"I think the milk's off!"

"You might call it shoplifting officer, but I prefer to think of it as foraging."

"No, I'm not a hare, I just happen to have big ears..."

"You know, turning a hobby into a job kinda takes all the fun out of it."

'Thank you for noticing, Shirley - but beauty comes at a price, It hampers my hunting, limits my berry picking and typing's a real pain,'

A windfall pear falling straight into a bag of windfall pears.

Black Truffles!

The mushroom pickers

"I'd say it's a fungal infection."

'Honey, do we have a problem with mold in our house?'

'Never go berry pickin' on an empty stomach.'

'I'd always been told they found the truffles by smell.'

'Hank, I know you're new at turkey hunting, but that isn't the way you call turkeys.'

It's a big ask.

"I was going to go to the other slop trough, but the music's always too loud."

'Don't think its a coincidence that the chocolate is in the back and the fruits are in the front.'

'Are these mushrooms or toadstools? And why are you holding the stomach pump?'

Morel of the story

"Don't be late - I'm making moldy meat and orange peels over coffee grinds with a side of egg shells."

Dieter sees 'Enter at own risk' sign on refrigerator

'Try looking on the bright side - they could save you a trip to the supermarket.'

"I can always find the olives. It's the only jar that looks back at me!"

For thousands of years desert dwellers have harvested the delicious dark red juicy fruit of the saguaro.