Fortune Cookie Collector Pillows

"I'm beginning to question your business decision-making, Perkins."

Change in imminent

'The phone is my direct line to Janet Yellen.'

"It says, 'Someday you will die.'"

'See many bathroom breaks in near future after eating Moo Goo Gai Pan.'

'So,,,apparently you're really a dude,'

'This fortune cookie says 'Sell your GM stock and invest in Toyota to make lots of money'.'

IBM sells personal computer business to China.

"Mine says 'fortune cookies are bad for you'."

"It says. . . 'That wasn't chicken.'"

'Dial 1-900-Fortune.'

Fortune cookies based on various business magazines.

'Our businessman's special includes fortune cookies filled with stock tips'

Lottery - come back to eat here 20 times and you will win million dollar in lottery.

'My crystal ball is in the shop. Pick a fortune cookie.'

Mine says, 'Blaming China won't work.'

A complimentary biscuit

"Either the fortune cookie cutter failed, or you have a lot of issues you're not telling your mother about."

'It says I forgot my wallet.'

'My fortune says you're a liar, so I won't even ask what yours says.'

Chinese Novel Cookie

'This fortune cookie says, 'You will have good luck investing in emerging markets, fortune cookie & Chopstick Trading Company of Singapore.''

"In an effort to avoid controversy, and to accommodate our attention spans, we will be replacing the commencement speaker with fortune cookies."

The day the dinosaurs died...'There's no fortunes in any of these!'

'I'm a fortune teller Phillip. Music is going to mark a key moment in your life.'

Misfortune cookies

"Let me get this straight - You're divorcing him because of a fortune cookie message?"

'That's weird. All this fortune cookie says is 'look out!''

I see bread people! A scary movie in Wonderland.

Dr. Frankenstein: 'Heyyyy, What THE...?!'

Chinese Cuisine. I think that hedge fund manager misplaced his after-meal cookie. That would be the second fortune he lost.

Man reading fortune cookie: 'Hey, cool - it's an up-to-the-minute stock report.'

'Yahoo! It says 'Your wife is going to collect a large sum of insurance money!''

Nostradamus's secret is almost exposed.

'Okay, mine says, 'Eat healthier foods. The current health care system really sucks.''