Fork In The Road Fanatic Gifts

Fountain of Youth/Fountain of Bacon

'Relax, it's just like riding a rollercoaster.'

"Never mind the porridge, someone's stolen my woodland mushroom collection."

"I'm taking a gap year and then getting my Master's in Fetching and Staying."

'Stop! Don't try to move him until we get his insurance information!'

"Well, dad. . . when I was a kid I got in trouble for trampling on the lawn or for beating up others. . . today, I get a lot of money for it!"

'Mr. Barnes has been riding his motorcycle, so he's a little behind on his paperwork. If you'll take a seat, he should be with you in a few hours.'

Stand-up comedy while you're away at work. 'What's the deal with fetching? ...And they expect you to run and go get it, so why did they throw it in the first place?' 'Ha! Ha! It's funny because it's true!'

'It's your father. He says he's joining Bob Dylan's never ending tour.'

'I don't know why you find it so hard to stop and ask for directions.'

Super Bowl 2012: The NFL finds a way to appease displaced ticket holders.

'No fair, man. How come you get a dessert fork?'

'Wrong fork. Good Lord, man, don't you have any table manners?'

"This new NFL video is great! It factors in the strength of each team's offense, defense, special teams and legal teams."

Name stickers on car windscreen.

'Pretend you don't notice San Andreas.'

'What's this?' - 'Your sealed orders, not to be opened till 7 furlongs.'

Traveller with a globe on the front of his car.

Cam Newton

Hi! Frank and Ernie, here, with the clock running down on another Superbowl! It's been a wild affair! I'll say! The seals and penguins kept starting the wave! And the zebras were throwing flags all over the place!...The Kangaroo kept jumping offsides and the octopus was called for holding. Eight times! And all on the same play! But no question the game's MVP is the electric eel...thirty-two carries and nobody touched him once! It was shocking!

That's a salad pitchfork, Bob.

Hamlet, Chicken of Denmark: 'to cross, or not to cross'

Super Bowl Media Day 2013

'Have you never seen a boom town before, stranger?'

Spoonfest

Jeep

'I'll tell you, Ed, this new technology is starting to realy spook me out.'

"Would you like to see the top on Google Earth?"

'Strange how everyone driving slower than you is an idiot and everyone driving faster is a maniac!'

'This is an older model, but it does have extra truck space in the rear.'

California Drivers License

The classic car has fins and the modern race car has a wing. Just like nature - Fish came before birds.

Some folk treat their smart car as if it were their home.

Your license please!

"It isn't that I mind driving around, but I'm only getting seven miles to the gallon."