Fault Line Fanatic Gifts

If God Existed

'Pretend you don't notice San Andreas.'

"I haven't a clue what it does, but I don't know I managed without it"

Tool Box

Hardware Store Tools Wrench

"You need to take this thingamajig...and attach it to the whatchamacallit using a turny thing."

"The bad news is that I backed into a fan. The good news is my owner's a plumber."

Replacement Bus Spotters.

Monk Prompt

Home De-Po. Things you need for your project. Things you didn't know you needed until you were halfway through your project.

"When it comes to fixing his own computer, I call it his PDDIY project. That stands for please DON'T do it yourself."

Fountain of Youth/Fountain of Bacon

"Well, I've emailed, faxed, and phoned Dobson. Maybe I should just walk down the hall and talk to him..."

'She seems to think I only have one thing on my mind.'

"Dad! The bathroom pipes are clogged up!"

Timber preservation

Is this for wiping greasy hands?

100k Desert Crawl

Bob’s Museum

'I think you want Phillips. Two doors down on the left.'

"All right, pal, I'm just saying, that's what I'd do if it was my Large Hadron Collider."

'Certainly. Here's the break-down. Seventy-five dollars for my labour. And seventy-five dollars for you impersonating a plumber.'

'So, then.... you don't LIKE life in the fast lane?'

'I believe in trial and error, I believe my client being brought to trial is an error.'

"Was it a fuse?"

'Why did you get a huge socket wrench set? You never use socket wrenches.'

'Hello, Robinson Crusoe here, I'd like my kitchen finished by Friday.'

'Hanging around the house, Fred, just in case.'

'I think I found the problem.'

"I'm looking for a Father's Day gift. What kind of wrench says 'I love you'?"

Organized chaos.

"Dad needs a Phillips screwdriver. Who's Phillip?"

"I only need two tools: WD-40 if something doesn't move that should, and duct tape if something moves that shouldn't!"

'Your place or mine? Both. You go to your place and I'll go to mine!'

'My hubby is getting better at D.I.Y. . . . Oh yes, he now spends more on screws than plasters.'