Fault Line Fanatic T-Shirts

'Pretend you don't notice San Andreas.'

"I haven't a clue what it does, but I don't know I managed without it"

Tool Box

Hardware Store Tools Wrench

"The bad news is that I backed into a fan. The good news is my owner's a plumber."

"You need to take this thingamajig...and attach it to the whatchamacallit using a turny thing."

Replacement Bus Spotters.

Monk Prompt

"When it comes to fixing his own computer, I call it his PDDIY project. That stands for please DON'T do it yourself."

Fountain of Youth/Fountain of Bacon

"Well, I've emailed, faxed, and phoned Dobson. Maybe I should just walk down the hall and talk to him..."

Is this for wiping greasy hands?

Timber preservation

"Dad! The bathroom pipes are clogged up!"

100k Desert Crawl

Bob’s Museum

'I think you want Phillips. Two doors down on the left.'

"All right, pal, I'm just saying, that's what I'd do if it was my Large Hadron Collider."

'Certainly. Here's the break-down. Seventy-five dollars for my labour. And seventy-five dollars for you impersonating a plumber.'

'I believe in trial and error, I believe my client being brought to trial is an error.'

'Hanging around the house, Fred, just in case.'

"Was it a fuse?"

'Hello, Robinson Crusoe here, I'd like my kitchen finished by Friday.'

'Why did you get a huge socket wrench set? You never use socket wrenches.'

'So, then.... you don't LIKE life in the fast lane?'

'I think I found the problem.'

"I'm looking for a Father's Day gift. What kind of wrench says 'I love you'?"

Organized chaos.

"Dad needs a Phillips screwdriver. Who's Phillip?"

'My hubby is getting better at D.I.Y. . . . Oh yes, he now spends more on screws than plasters.'

'Your place or mine? Both. You go to your place and I'll go to mine!'

He's got mdf..medium density fever.