Fork In The Road Fanatic T-Shirts

Fountain of Youth/Fountain of Bacon

'Relax, it's just like riding a rollercoaster.'

"Never mind the porridge, someone's stolen my woodland mushroom collection."

"I'm taking a gap year and then getting my Master's in Fetching and Staying."

"Well, dad. . . when I was a kid I got in trouble for trampling on the lawn or for beating up others. . . today, I get a lot of money for it!"

'Stop! Don't try to move him until we get his insurance information!'

'Mr. Barnes has been riding his motorcycle, so he's a little behind on his paperwork. If you'll take a seat, he should be with you in a few hours.'

'No fair, man. How come you get a dessert fork?'

Stand-up comedy while you're away at work. 'What's the deal with fetching? ...And they expect you to run and go get it, so why did they throw it in the first place?' 'Ha! Ha! It's funny because it's true!'

'I don't know why you find it so hard to stop and ask for directions.'

'Wrong fork. Good Lord, man, don't you have any table manners?'

Name stickers on car windscreen.

'Pretend you don't notice San Andreas.'

"This new NFL video is great! It factors in the strength of each team's offense, defense, special teams and legal teams."

Traveller with a globe on the front of his car.

'What's this?' - 'Your sealed orders, not to be opened till 7 furlongs.'

Hamlet, Chicken of Denmark: 'to cross, or not to cross'

'Have you never seen a boom town before, stranger?'

Jeep

Spoonfest

'I'll tell you, Ed, this new technology is starting to realy spook me out.'

'Strange how everyone driving slower than you is an idiot and everyone driving faster is a maniac!'

"Would you like to see the top on Google Earth?"

Your license please!

Right-hand drive - A right hand with a car steering wheel and console on it.

"It isn't that I mind driving around, but I'm only getting seven miles to the gallon."