Forgetful Philosophers Pillows

'Is it possible to have a senior moment when you're only a sophomore?'

"Ideas that jump from noggin when head not yet screwed on."

"Ah, ha! The universe IS expanding! I can't find my glasses anywhere!"

"Wait... what was it I came up here for?"

Emergency Phone.

"Hang on, I know I came into the kitchen for something..."

"No need to remind me. I'm well aware that I've forgotten completely about you."

"It's funny 'cos it's true!"

'No glove. No hat. No shoes. ... I'm sorry, Andy, but I'm bringing in a new pitcher. You just don't have your stuff today.'

'Do you have anything for absent-mindedness?'

Lost and forgotten department

"Oh, boy...the leaves are falling....that means it's time to bury my nuts. But I can never find my nuts after I bury them."

"Oh my God -- I just remembered I can fly."

Elderly man at top of stairs with a revolver and an axe: 'I've completely forgotten why I came upstairs.'

'So that's where I left my car keys!'

Useless-memory lane

"Honey, I'll be right back – I forgot to stop at the bar on the way home."

Let me warn you, toots. Celebrity is like radioactivity: you start with a big bang, then comes years with a half-life of slow decay.

"Since I proved in my last lecture that none of us really exist...I'm going to change this to a cooking class!"

The brain cell that was suppose to help me remember.

Man reading 'Amnesia volume 1' while having a bookshelf full of 'Amnesia Volume 1'

"Oh, nuts – I forgot why I came out here."

I've come back here to remember what I forgot in the first place.

'I'm not seeking any answers . . .I don't know anything . . . I'm just lazy!'

'Do you need me to remind you when your wife's birthday is too?'

Interior Monologuist

"I keep forgetting it's not Christmas,"

"Gun fight at the memory lapse corral."

'Password, password - come on Memory!'

"Now, what am I here for?"

'Don't do today what you can leave for tomorrow, the day after tomorrow, next week or until someone else does it for you.'

'I forgot to turn on the gravity this morning.'

"I forgot to pay the light bill. I swear, I would forget my head if it wasn't screwed on."