Forgetful Philosopher Gifts

"Oh my God -- I just remembered I can fly."

Annual Amnesiacs Convention.

Elderly man at top of stairs with a revolver and an axe: 'I've completely forgotten why I came upstairs.'

'I hate it when I walk into a room and forget why I went in there. Especially when it's the bathroom!'

'Honey, I'm growing old... I forgot the contract for the important customer, I forgot a meeting, I even forgot my purse and the office key...' - 'Excuse me, but... who are you?!'

"Now, what am I here for?"

'Do you have anything for absent-mindedness?'

The brain cell that was suppose to help me remember.

"My wife said I ruined her birthday, but I didn't know it was her birthday!"

I've come back here to remember what I forgot in the first place.

"Damn it!...I've forgotten his name."

"Where did you last have everything?"

"I wish we had brought the kitchen sink...."

Now, what was I supposed to remember?

'Surely they haven't all forgotten!'

'He's forgotten his key again!'

'Do you need me to remind you when your wife's birthday is too?'

Man reading 'Amnesia volume 1' while having a bookshelf full of 'Amnesia Volume 1'

"Hang on, I know I came into the kitchen for something..."

"I forgot to pay the light bill. I swear, I would forget my head if it wasn't screwed on."

"Honey, I'll be right back – I forgot to stop at the bar on the way home."

"Wait... what was it I came up here for?"

"Ideas that jump from noggin when head not yet screwed on."

"Ah, ha! The universe IS expanding! I can't find my glasses anywhere!"

"No need to remind me. I'm well aware that I've forgotten completely about you."

"It's funny 'cos it's true!"

'No glove. No hat. No shoes. ... I'm sorry, Andy, but I'm bringing in a new pitcher. You just don't have your stuff today.'

"I seem to have forgotten what I was saying...please...hold the applause!"

Lost and forgotten department

"Oh, boy...the leaves are falling....that means it's time to bury my nuts. But I can never find my nuts after I bury them."

'So that's where I left my car keys!'

"Oh, nuts – I forgot why I came out here."

'You're beginning to get the hang of starting the motor, dear, but you forgot one thing...'

Even if you're the president of a corporation, you're still just the president of a corporation.

Interior Monologuist